How wide and long and high and deep

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Eph 3: 17 – 21

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”


If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you’d notice that I sometimes  make this statement ” I can never fully grasp the depth of His love”.  In saying this, it is not out of my despair or frustration but really, I am in awe.
Today my blog article is a little different as I am going to (for the first time, share my personal journal with you). So it’s going to be slightly random, hopefully you can stay with me. To be honest, I’m not a good writer but there’re often times like this when I feel a joy in a personal revelation and wish to share this to others.


Often times, I would be in a certain circumstance or moment, when I’m suddenly hit by His love. It’s mostly overwhelming, unexplainable by logic. Many a times, it is like a sudden arrest of my full attention and heart.
As a sea lover, I like to picture God’s love as waves rolling onto the shore:
It rushes in – like waves breaking onto the beach, there’s no way to slow it down.
It is continuous – wave after wave, there’s no way to stop it.
It breaks things down – like waves hitting a hard cliff; wave after wave though resisted by the rock, eventually it breaks down and erodes the stony rock. 
The waves are only a small fraction of the amount of water in the ocean.


This is what it feels like for me, God’s love feels like a rush, a wave crashing onto the shore of my heart; followed by wave after wave of it, breaking through, breaking down anything (shame, fear and condemnation) in its way. That’s the Love of God.


That is only the beginning but I feel I can never fully know or understand His love. It seems too magnificient for me to totally ‘get it’. Until I encounter with fresh eyes again today, Ephesians 3 :17 – 21. It says I need to be ‘rooted’ so that I can have ‘power to grasp how wide, long, high and deep God’s love is’. Finally the answer is staring at me. Ok then, I asked what does it mean to be rooted?  Immediately an image of a tree with deep roots surfaced in my mind, followed by two words, ‘Be Still’.  In my imagination, there is a tree, just standing still and basking in the sunshine.


God’s love surpasses human  knowledge, bypasses intellect, resides beyond theories. If anything at all, it is my life mission to know His love. 


It takes power to know this love and to get this power, I need to be rooted in His love – allow myself to just soak in His love. When I know His love, I could be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. That is another mystery for me, yet to be discovered, what does it mean to be ‘filled to the measure of all the fullness of God’?


Nonetheless, for now, the thing that really gets me excited is what follows:  “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”. God is more than what we can ask or imagine, God is beyond our biggest request or wildest imagination. His power is at work within us!


What a powerful thought to be carrying around all day, especially when I feel not enough – not strong enough, not smart enough, not fast enough, not good enough, not rich enough, not pretty enough, not energetic enough, not eloquent enough, not creative enough, not capable enough … the list goes on.


Today I may not be feeling enough, however, it doesn’t matter because I know that God is beyond what I can ask or imagine and all I need to do is to stay rooted in His Amazing love for me – this is my God, Awesome!


Eph 3: 17 – 21

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”


Grace under Pressure

Grace, faith, Jesus

I cried, ugly cried to God. Feeling utter despair, extreme loneliness, pressure from demands of work and life, I cried ” I can’t do this, I’m crushing, I am melting down. I really need your help Jesus!!!”

Just when I thought my grace is under pressure, that i can’t hold it in and suck it up any longer…

He showed up. He reminded me that I am accepted and beloved, that I am not alone, He cares about me. His presence so intense. His peace so aggressive it displaces the tornado in my mind. Though my eyes can’t see him, my heart can.

Finally I heared Him say ” My grace is sufficient for you. This is our secret code. These were the words I clung onto through the various storms of my life. Overwhelmed by the memories of how He walked with me through previous valleys of shadow of death; tears flowed. This time, the tears felt like a dam released, letting go.

In a moment of absolute abandonment, I can see clearly immediately. The strongholds of anxiety, fear, loneliness, despair came crushing down and melting away like ice cream on a hot summer day.

Total surrender in trust: Allowing myself to free fall into the unknown, enveloped by His everlasting arms of love.

I can never fully grasp the depth of His love for me or fathom the magnitude of His grace. Time and again I am reminded that His grace is sufficient for me and that is all I need.

but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough–always available–regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.


The Divine Exchange 


As I ponder this week on the coming Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. I realised that Jesus died not only to give us a ‘ticket’ to heaven. There is so much depth to His work on the cross.


Whatever I see Jesus on the cross, I’m given the exact opposite. Jesus was naked, so I can be covered with His glory and honour.

When I feel unsafe, fearful and vulnerable, I recall:

Jesus was fully vulnerable to the soldier’s torture, so I can be fully protected and surounded by angels.

When I feel unwell, when my body is failing me, I recall:

Jesus body was scared and fully broken, so my body can be fully healed and restored.

When I feel empty and disappointed by life, I recall:

Jesus died most extremely excruciatingly (fully depleted of life), so I can have life most abundantly. 

He died for all sinners. Because He lives, there is hope for everyone. He conquered all and He is now seated at the right hand of God.
I can never ever fully share the depth, the intensity, the height nor the magnitude of Jesus’ work on the cross … : How far, how wide, how deep is God’s love, mercy and grace.


For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Feeling Intimidated?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Fear is a powerful emotion.
Fear drives us to do somethings, fear paralyzes us not to do anything.
Sometimes, fear can be good,when it keeps us safe from potentially hazardous environment, in the sense of fear of fire, deep waters.
Fear is a feeling that comes upon some of us as a gripping feeling in the heart. Sometimes, it feels like someone or something is gripping your heart so tightly that you cannot breathe.
What are you fearful of today? What’s intimidating you? Is it the economic situation? violence in the world, job insecurity, health issues?  To be honest, I’m a person with a lot of fear.  When I am well, any slight physical symptom will send chills down my spine, thinking whether it’s a relapse. When I was on my sickbed, at my worst, I was afraid of sleeping as I was terrified that I would not wake up again. When I am working, I fear my job will be replaced by someone younger and cheaper to hire. When I was out of job, I fear I cannot find a job in the gloomy economic circumstances.  When I come home alone, I fear that this will be the case for the rest of my life and that I’ll die alone as a single old lady and nobody would know until weeks later.
What do you do when you feel fearful? Some of us hide, others run away from their fear. Yet others live in denial and try to forget or dismiss the fears. Whatever the measures, the result of fear does stop people from living life to the fullest.
Today, remember that no matter what, God is with you. No sickness, economic downturn, violence and unrest can separate us from the Love of God. With the Almighty God on our side, what should we be afraid of or why should we feel intimidated? No matter where we tread, He is with us wherever we go. That is His promise to us!
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Seeking the Ultimate Valentine



Valentine’s Day. The day Love is celebrated throughout the world. Sometimes, I wonder and secretly think if this day has been conspired by cards and chocolate manufacturers, florists, or jewelry retailers.

If you’re, somewhat like me, not really looking forward to Valentine’s Day, because you are single and not found your significant one – you are not alone. I admit that I’ve been down that road, throwing a pity party, envying other couples holding hands and ladies walking with flowers in their hands. Amidst all these celebration of love, it’s easy for the single girl to slip into self-pity and wonder if she’ll ever find / be found by her Prince charming, if she’ll ever love again/ at all, or is she destined to be alone for the rest of her life.

But what if in the flurry of hearts, candy boxes and flowers; one great Valentine, the ultimate origin of every true, selfless love, has come, died for you, risen back to life, and is still wooing your heart everyday!
No Heart ever beat with or will ever carry more love than His. No one ever proved love as He did: Love even to the point of suffering an excruciating death on the cross. Such amazing grace and wonderous love.

He has loved us from the beginning, He will continue to love us till the end.

He loved us even when we cannot love ourselves and He is constantly wooing our hearts.

He does not stop loving us even when we forsake Him, no matter how long we have been away from Him.

His love will never grow cold, faint, or distant. His love is everlasting, infinite and eternal.



This Valentine’s Day, let’s take our focus off the age-old adage of romance, love, meeting Prince charming, erase all expectations or disappointment this day tends to bring, and take time to recognise what true love is.

Let’s fix our gaze on the Author of Love, Himself. What He’s been trying to show you everyday, how He’s provided and cared for you, how cherished you are in His sight.  So go boldly into Valentine’s Day this year, my sisters, and celebrate it because of how loved and cherished you are by Jesus – the only man who will ever lay down His life for you.



Reflections of 2017

Romans 8:28

Few minutes more to 2018 and it’s all beginning to make sense.

2017 was a year I suffered a minor health relapse. One week I was ok and the next weekend, I found myself lying on my bed. At times of physical discomfort and pain, the pangs of loneliness hit hardest. There were times when I would just sob in bed and wondered if God has left me too. It came to a point where I cried to God saying I don’t know how much longer I can hold on and telling Him I don’t have mountain moving faith. Then He showed up and revealed to me that it is not about how faithful I am but how Faithful and Good He is. Then I began seeing afresh again… seeing myself healed and even if I don’t see it now, I believe I have been healed.

2017 started with a wedding and ended with a baby shower. Celebrating other people’s blessings while being single and feeling that the whole world has left you behind sucks. To be honest… there were times when I just regretted showing up for someone’s party. Yet by the end of the year, I realised I was finally able to be happy with another person’s blessing.

 Many times in fear, loneliness and despair;  I’ve wondered and asked God where He is, if He has forgotten about me, what’s His take in my current situation (be it job, health or life at large).
I cannot fully describe how my life has been unfolding the past few years. Though it’s far from perfect, one thing I know: God is Good and He loves me.  Thank you Jesus. I’ve had a wonderful year because You are with me.
Few minutes more to 2018 and it’s all beginning to make sense.
Trusting God in times of ill health and fear. Being happy where I am in Life. Celebrating with others while I’m still single and childless. Holding my desires with a loose hand – Letting go and letting Him take control.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28 NLT


A Stranger’s Prayer

sun rise, hope,inspiration,joy,life,love

Would you pray for a total stranger, without being asked to?

Here’s how it happened, for me.

This week, I received an email reply from the secretary of an organisation I was making some enquiries with. I had written in a couple of weeks ago, as the matter was not urgent, I didn’t bother to call up to check. So this email reply is in fact three weeks late.

When I read the first line of the email, something stirred in my heart. It goes ” I’m sorry for the delayed reply as my son was hospitalised.” At that split second, I felt a nudge, but I tried to shove the nudge away with a “self-conversation”, that goes like that:

” Are you sure you want me to do this?… What should I say? Yes I understand her child is sick but how would I know she’s open to it?  Who knows her son may have recovered by now so doing this will be redundant right? .. What if she rejects me out right? …”

After a few minutes which seemed like eternity, I resolved:

” All right, if you really want  me to do this, you need to give me the words. And if this is really it, let her be the first person to pick up the phone when I call her.”

After this, I picked up my phone and dialed the secretary who sent me the email. The line was connected, a sweet sounding lady answered the phone.

” Hello, may I speak to Jenny please?” I asked

“Yes I am” the lady on the other end replied.

“Oh, Hi Jenny. Thank you for your reply. hmm.. actually I’m calling you not to make further enquiries …  hmm … I just feel I need to call you when I saw your email.  You don’t have to tell me what happened to your son if you’re not comfortable to but I’d like to pray for your son right now over the phone. It’ll take just a minute, all you need to do is to stay on the line with me and say Amen together with me.”

“Ok” she replied.

So I said a short prayer on the phone with her.  There was a short silence after we said ‘Amen’. Then her voice came on again:

“Wow, that means alot to me. Thank you.”

“Well, that’s the purpose of my call today. You have a good day.”

“You too” she replied.

And so we hung up. Here I am, trapped at home (feeling rather useless) due to recuperation needed for my own health issues. Yet I felt joyful that even in the midst of my own health issues, God can use me to pray for someone else’s healing – and more so – a total stranger.

I am constantly amazed by my awesome Heavenly Father.


Isaiah 55:8

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.






Healing & Restoration

I am the Lord that heals you Exodus 15: 26

Recently I suffered a health relapse, that left me lying on my bed, gasping for breath. On one of the worst days, I found myself rolling on my apartment kitchen floor in pain, after about 2 hours of agony, I threw up my lunch (verbatim). I know it’s kind of gross but that’s a fact, ignore your stomach and it’ll get back at you – Big time!  By this time, I knew I had no choice but to take a break from Corporate life as the marketing calendar and events were simply piled up one against another back to back and we were working with minimal manpower. Risking my health for work is not an option I’d like to entertain.

On hindsight, I should have seen it coming: Working late everyday, working weekend events; I was practically only eating one meal a day. Skipping breakfast was norm because I would be just so exhausted from work that getting out of bed every morning was a challenge. Skipping dinner was norm as I had to work late with tonnes of work and tight deadlines – often I could hardly breathe. And even if I ate chances are they’re junk food, from convenience stores, canned food and microwave-food, (which is completely not nourishing my body, I know). I ignored the initial fatigue warning symptoms, ignored the hunger pangs and thought naively that they will go away but they didn’t. In  fact, before long, they came back in full force which led me to a complete physical breakdown.

So here I am, resting at home, taking lots of bed rest and and for once I found the time to go into God’s word (which is a luxury in the hectic daily life of a corporate worker). I realised how much I had ‘starved’ myself, not only physically but also spiritually.

And it really hit me hard (once again) that Heal is Wealth, quite literally – We need health to work for an income. At the same time, it dawned on me that Healing is important to God because without health one cannot be effective in any work.

And as I spend time in the word of God again, I am reminded of how Good God is.   Many a times we gloss thru the gospels of the accounts of Jesus as if they’re bible stories. The fact is that Jesus never rejected anyone who came to Him for healing when He was on earth. Thus if we believe Jesus is the SAME yesterday, today and forever; He is still in the business of Healing!  Though my mind acknowledge, my heart sometimes still harbor a sliver of doubt. Yet, without a doubt it is God’s heart to heal. It is not because of my merits, it is because He is good God. It is due to His Goodness not my goodness. And I’m sure, with every healing, there’s much more restoration coming from my Abba Father.

More than that, Jesus is in the business of holistic healing before anyone else. The whole current craze about looking at health holistically and all the psychological studies on how one’s emotions affect one’s physical health. Now I realized, actually Jesus practised it all.  He not only healed people of their physical ailments, He also healed their emotions. He encouraged and showed them love and acceptance.

So as I take time to recuperate, catch up on God’s word and journaling my journey (no pun intended), I hope to share my little revelations and benefit whoever lands up on this webpage in the world wide web. Meanwhile, I’m also taking time to learn about eating nutritiously and looking for good juicing resources for gastritis, if you know of any, d0 let me know.

Do you have a health and healing story to share too? Don’t be shy to drop a line below.



I am the Lord that heals you

Exodus 15: 26


Answered Prayers

Romans 8:28
Tonight I shared a very special moment with my Abba Father. As I lay on bed, meditating on His love for me. Out of the blue, I recalled a past prayer request.
A few years ago, a friend asked me to pray for someone who had backslided and stopped going to church. I kept this person in prayers for a period of time. After that, i didn’t really keep track of the matter. Recently, i got to know that this lady whom i was praying for had gone back to church – God had answered my prayers!
 Whenever I pray for someone and God answered my prayers, i would feel an amazing sense of joy and encouragement, knowing for sure that God hears and answers my prayers. This reassurance that though He seems silent, He is working behind the scene, is like water to a panting deer. So certainly He will answer my own prayers. This means there is hope for getting my own breakthrough even when nothing seems to be happening in the natural. This means I should not give up but return to the stronghold and be a prisoner of hope. This is the only way to be truly free, be abandoned to the Hope of God’s working in my life.
 Suddenly i felt overwhelmed by Abba Father’s love. Indeed He works all things out for good for thos who love Him.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
“Romans 8:28 NKJV
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Another Divine Appointment


It’s Friday evening, I just knocked off from work, ( well actually more like knocked out ).  It’s one of those days that you unknowingly made a teeny weeny silly mistake and start feeling a wee bit down.

As I stepped into as busy mall, can’t help but noticed the crowd, shoppers, diners;  after all It’s the weekend.      Not wanting to wander around aimlessly alone, I decided to grab a quick dinner at a busy food court. As I plunked down onto my seat with my tray of food, I thought to myself “Oh well, I have breakfast alone, lunch alone ( because I’m the only employee in office,  you don’t really count your boss as a lunch buddy right?), and now dinner alone. But I thank God I have food to eat! ”

Before I could take a second mouthful of food, a young lady with long hair walked up ” Is this seat taken? ” The seat opposite me was empty. “No, You may sit here.” I replied.  She thanked me with a smile and sat down. Out of curiosity, I asked “You don’t sound like a local, where are you from? ” She smiled again and replied “Myanmar “.

We started chatting, about the food, what she does and how long she’s been living here. ” I’ve been staying here for 10 years, I love it here but I’m going back next month to take care of my mum.”  At this juncture, I thought this may be the last time I see her, perhaps I can pray for her mother or share about God’s love and healing to her. However, to my surprise and delight, she’s already a believer.

“It’s tough when I first came, I had to adapt to the culture and work was stressful, so much so that I dreaded going to work everyday. ”  “That must have been tough on you, how did you overcome that? ” I asked eagerly.  Her answer was simple yet amazing ” I just focus on God throughout the day, all the time, at every hour I’d whisper a prayer to thank God for bringing me through another hour. After some time, things got better. ”  She went on to recount how small  David defeated gigantic Goliath, one of her favourite accounts in the Bible, she  added ” Though the Goliaths in our life look formidable, we have God on our side.”  I am so touched by her simple yet steadfast faith. We chatted over dinner about life, family, her love for cooking, life in her country. She had a passion for ministry and desire for sharing God’s love to our countrymen.

At the end of dinner, we’re like 2 old friends reunited. We exchanged contact numbers and I told her we should do dinner before she goes back to her home country. ‘ Yes, and if you come to my country, I’ll bring you around, and who knows, we can become ministry partners one day!’ She chuckled.

As I made my way home, the initial lonely ‘down and out’ feeling was gone, instead I feel so encouraged by the faith of my new friend  and her passion for helping her fellow countrymen. I never thought I’d be engaging in such an inspiring conversation tonight. I had started out wanting to help her but instead I was the one being helped (encouraged).

You may call it a chance meeting but I can’t help but feel amazed by this divine appointment.  I concur witj the famous scientist, Albert Einstein “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. ” I thank my heavenly Father that once again He has given me what I needed when I needed it most, He truly is watching over me!

Someone out there likes you


Sometimes the most heart warming realisation comes through the most mundane of activities.

Today I went as usual to the food court to have lunch. Ordering lunch is a routine, nothing exciting, nothing special, I’m kind of the ‘eat to live’ type of  person. Food does not excite me that much, neither are the lunch options very thrilling.

I queued and ordered chicken and vegetable toppings for my rice. Moving along the queue, just when I was about to pay up at the cash counter, the cashier took a look at my plate. Without asking or saying anything, he took my plate, went back up the food chain and started heaping on additional toppings. I was pleasantly surprised. Obviously the cashier thought that the serving dished out to me earlier on by his co-worker was too little.

As I sat down enjoying my scrumptious lunch, I can’t help feeling thankful to God and blissful for the favour. Then I came to this realisation:

In life, some people will short change us, reject us, or treat us short of what we deserve – be it cheating us of our money, time or  feelngs. I know it, I’ve been through my fair share of betrayals, heart breaks and unfair treatment. Life just seems so unfair at times and it seems you’re never going to find someone who treats you right. But take heart, ‘just when you least expect it’ (as a friend says), someone out there will come along, treasure you, honour you, make sure you’re treated right, and love you just as you are. And when that someone finds you, never let him go!

I felt it’s my Heavenly Father telling me not to lose hope but to continue believing – it’s still possible that Someone out there loves me.







The Father’s Love



Dear Beloved Child,


My love for You is unconditional, it does not depend on what you do or who you are, it’s all about who I am. I am God, I am Your Father and I am Love. To Me your’re worth more than a million stars, you’re totally worth it.

If you only knew how much I love you, you would not be living in sadness, worries, regrets. I’ve loved you since the beginning. I am the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing can separate you from My love as I have loved you with an everlasting love.

My heart’s desire is to heal broken hearts.  I am the creation of Heaven and earth – nothing is too difficult for Me. I am the author of time – nothing is ever too late for me, My timing is always perfect.

I know you have burning questions, shattered dreams and broken promises. Give them to me and in exchange live for me. When you live your life totally for me, you shall have the answers. I delight in you and desire that you delight in Me too. When you delight yourself in Me, I will give you the desires of your heart. Trust Me, I cause all things to work for good and I am making all things beautiful in My time.



Your Heavenly Father

Psalm 37:4  – Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Trust Me



“Trust Me, I will make all things beautiful in My time.

Trust Me, I will catch you when you jump.

Trust me, I will never let go of My hand.

Trust Me, I have a good plan for you.”

I stand in awe, as these words echoed in my mind as He beckons me with an outstretched hand, onto a bright path.

It was an invitation to walk on the path with Him. “Yes, I am following You, take me where you want to lead me!”

How can I ever fathom the Love of my beautiful Saviour – even if it takes eternity. I want to live like this every day, forever in Love with Him.


Ecclesiastes 3:11 –  He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Jeremiah 29:11 –  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Everlasting Love



I shouted “Why!”
He assured “Trust Me.”
I retorted “Why me?”
He replied “Because you’re my beloved.”
I cried “It’s too painful, I’m so alone! I can’t make it!”
He reminded gently “I’ve borne every rejection, betrayal, heartbreak, injustice, I understand.”

Overtaken by a rush of emotions as I recall His sacrifice at Calvary, I whispered between tears “I love you, I love you, I love you Jesus!”
He replied, touching my head “I love you too, which was why I had to die on the cross – for you. I have loved you with an everlasting Love.

a Love that is timeless, it knows no beginning or ending.
a Love that is eternal, it is perpetual, indefinite, infinite.
a Love that is constant, it is invariable, imperishable, indestructible.

And I will never leave you or forsake you.

Trust Me.”

Jeremiah 31:3 – The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love;  I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

The Fiery Trial of Cold Loneliness

Are you lonely?

Do you feel left out, rejected, alone?

Loneliness feels so cold yet stings like a hot scorching flame.

I know too well the pain of loneliness. The feeling that gnaws you and injects such immense pain into your soul that you wish you could just be free from it right away. It was so bad that I often cried to God to remove the pain, the deep-seated loneliness in my heart.

But The Lord didn’t take my pain away, no matter how much I pleaded.
He is using it to refine my life, just as fire purifies gold (Malachi 3:3).

Loneliness became a reminder of the cross, the sacrifice of my own desires for those of the Lord. That I should lose my life, lose myself for Him – to die to myself – which is utterly tormenting. So I start embracing the cross and the death of myself. I keep telling God to – have His way in me – that He is the centre of my life.
Every time I proclaim that, I felt a whole new strength, to carry on.

I finally realized that life wasn’t about my desires, but it was about showing the love of Christ to others.
The pain I am going through allowed me to identify with others’ pain. I can fully and totally feel first hand how it is to live through the pain of loneliness, rejection, abandonment, disappointments and broken relationships.

To anyone going through any of these, I understand it is not easy. In fact, that is such an understatement. But I truly understand how it feels now.

There is a saying that goes “Someone needs to go through hell to get the keys to unlock the prison to set others free”. Perhaps, we will get there one day. For now, everyday, I pray for strength to keep the faith and that this loneliness will cause me to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Till the day, if it may come, that God decides that I’ve passed this test.

The Greatest Love Story

If you ever feel …
abandoned and unimportant,
last in the list of everyone’s priority
hurt by the very people you love and try to help.

Know that there’s someone out there who …
loves you deeply,
is ever ready to carry and console you,
is always there for you and will never forsake you.
always has you first on His list.

He loves you so much that He …
gave up His royal throne for a crown of thorns,
walked this earth as a commoner, healing and consoling, only to be spurned and scorned,
willingly suffered the most excruciating death for you before you even knew Him.

And He has been waiting for you to receive His love and let Him into your heart, so that He can lavish His love for you through eternity.

His name is Jesus. Are you willing to accept His love?

The Beauty of Trials




Are you in that time and space where …

the nights just seem so long,

the winter just seems to drag on,

the rough patch just got rougher,

Are you in a difficult lot in life right now?  Wandering and wondering …

Why is this happening to me?

This isn’t fair!

How can I carry on?

What will my future be?


Much as we hate it, life has its ups and downs: disappointments and betrayals, broken relationships, creditors on the door, lost a job, lost a home, lost a loved-one. For some people, it may have seemed like it’s an all-time low or that the roller-coaster is never coming back up.  Trying times like these leave us hurt, frustrated, anxiety-filled and even depressed.

In the darkest of my nights, tears just rolled down; the grieve was so deep, no words can describe.  During these deepest moments of despair, I cried out, desperately to Jesus and guess what – He met me there!

There and then, He called my name and told me ‘to let go of the past’ and that ‘He is there for me’ and ‘He is enough for me’.  Through it all, I’ve learnt that He loves me more than I can ever imagine and He is always there with me.

So then, why the suffering and pain? I’ve learnt much from these trying times, how to forgive some people and rejoice with others, how to be content with what I have and quit complaining, how to feel for people, how to give and receive love.

Just like there’s no victory without a battle, no rainbow without the rain, no dawn without dusk (and we know the darkest hour lies just before dawn) – There can be no growth without pain.

When life gets overwhelming, everything can seem to crash in together simultaneously, leaving you with no room to breathe. This is when you need to breathe in the air of Jesus – cry out to Him. He will come and hold you, heal and love you, and take you through this season.  He’s been there for me, I’m sure He’ll be there for you.


Whatever your circumstances, know that God is working behind the scene, 24 x 7.

Whatever happens know that God has not left you.

It may not be what we expect but then again, how would He be God if He always meets our expectations?

Nonetheless He will bring you to a flourishing end and it will be more beautiful than what you can imagine.


Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Divine Appointment



It was a normal summer Saturday morning.  Ok, perhaps not so normal perhaps, as I had to drag myself out of bed and travel halfway across the other side of town to meet a prospective client.

It was one of those days in which I wished I should have gotten ready faster and left the house earlier.  Which is why I agreed immediately when my dear sister (although we’ve much sibling rivalry at times) happily volunteered to give me a lift as she was heading out.  She dropped me halfway to my client’s place so I could take a bus to my destination.   To cut the story short, I was well on my way, arrived at the bus stop and after a few minutes the bus came.

Upon boarding the bus, I immediately noticed an empty seat beside an old lady at the front.  I smiled to her, she smiled back and I plonked myself down right beside her.  She’s dressed very prettily in a dress, silver white hair elegant combed back.  The wrinkles on her face and arm tells me that she’s probably around the ripe old age of 90 (I think).

Before I realised how rude I was to be staring at her, she started talking to me.  She introduced herself as Florence (First thing I thought of was Florence Nightingale and wondered if she was ever a nurse). And of course I told her my name.  Then we carried on with our mini conversation as below :

Old Lady :  Oh isn’t it a lovely sunny day?

Me: Well, yes it’s indeed a sunny day (hmm..  so much so for weather talk, it sure is sunny but I’m not sure about the lovely part)

Old Lady: Are you in a hurry Macy?

Me:  Yes, in fact, I’m rushing for an appointment.

Old Lady:  I am going to the Church just round the next corner, I thought you might be interested to come with me.  But, well, since you’re in a hurry today, I want you to have this ( speaking which  she reached into her handbag and wanted to pass me a Christian flyer).

Me: (I said smiling),  I’m a believer too.

Old Lady: Oh, really ! Praise the Lord (she’s smiling so widely with a sparkle in her eyes).  You know God is Good. In life there’ll be ups and

downs, sometimes you may find yourself in a muddy pit.  Don’t be discouraged, God will pull you out of the pit.


At this point, my spirit immediately felt comforted, yet I was close to tears.

Flashback to the night before, I really don’t feel like coming to this part of town but had no choice as the appointment had been fixed (and afterall, the client always wins).  This was a place with many memories of a past relationship. I remembered even praying to God before bed the night before to grant me strength and peace in my heart.


The next thing I knew, the old Lady spoke again

Old Lady: Macy, can we pray for a while?

I nodded my head.

Old Lady: Dear Father, thank you for Macy and I pray that you’ll keep her and bless her. Amen.


After the prayer, she said goodbye (still with that sparkle in her eyes) and got down the bus.

And although this old granny is a complete stranger, it was one of the most wonderfully short and sweet prayer I’ve ever had someone said with me.  The morning started out a little grey for me but meeting the old lady just lifted my spirits up.  Though we only spoke for a while, and I don’t even know her, I felt so divine!  Amazingly, I felt God’s presence with me. It’s such a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can’t explain.

Moreover, the old lady is so full of joy and life at her age!!  That spirit and sparkle in her eyes is something that makes me really say ‘Wow’ , almost like being star struck (or even better).  She’s just so inspiring.

I believe she must have been sent by God.  How wonderous ! How marvelous !

Very often, we ask God to speak to us, give us visions, reveal to us in dreams.  But somehow, I think today God chose to speak to me through a lovely old granny.


I will always treasure this wonderful memory in my heart.  Perhaps, one day when I’m that old, God will still use me to encourage some younger woman out there feeling down and out and lonely, to remind her that she’s never alone, that her beloved Father in heaven is watching over her with Love.


Romans 8:39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Success at Workplace : Passion or Conviction ?



Passion or Conviction – Which is more important for success at the workplace or in life?

What is the difference between Passion and Conviction?


We often hear and even use the word Passion.  What does it really mean?

Passion is often used to refer to love for someone or something, ironically refers to ‘suffering’ in Ancient Greek.  Perhaps it is the intense emotion that makes one suffer – sleepless nights, loss of appetite, anxiety, fear of loss …

Passion is so strong an emotion that it oftens render reasoning meaningless.  Besides Romance, Passion is applicable to love for a certain pursuit, such as occupation, exploration, a craft or a hobby.   For example, someone with a passion for writing may stay up till the wee hours in the morning, to pen down any inspirational flow of words that come into mind, an artist passionate about his art may spend days on end on a painting which he believes is his greatest masterpiece ever, an athlete passionate about his sport will train hours after hours everyday to improve himself and stretch his limits.  Talk to someone about something they are passionate about and you’ll immediately see the sparkle in their eyes.

Passion is the spark, that kick-starts the Firing inferno – it motivates us, engulfs us, sometimes devours us.


However, I believe to succeed in whichever field you’re in, passion is only half the story.  Conviction is another vital ingredient for success.

What is Conviction?  Conviction is an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence.
So strong is the belief that it holds itself as an article of faith.
To the mind, it is the cognition of doubtless truth.  To the heart, it is this commitment that keeps us going and going, when the going gets tough.
It is the voice in our heart that tells us to ‘Get up”, time and again when we falter.
It is the energy that feeds our soul, with each passing hurdle, pitfall, wear and tear.
Conviction pushes us beyond the boundaries of our limits

Now to me, Passion is the spark that gets me started BUT Conviction pushes me beyond.  When I’m convinced about something, I’m committed to it and so it becomes more than a casual passion.  It becomes something I believe worth pursuing.
Conviction is the voice, constantly telling me that ‘What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger”
Conviction is my mentor, my coach, my mantra to keep going and going, with the destination in mind.

I used to think that Passion was everything until Conviction found me!


This article was written as a part of the “Most Marketable Skills” Campaign on Webucator.

Many thanks to Bob Clary for telling me about this campaign and I feel so honoured to be part of  it!

In case you’d like to see what other writers wrote about, here are some of the other blogger’s input:

Achieving Success in the workplace – What is your most marketable skill? by @cjperadilla

What makes you marketable by @amandastrav

Self Brand Marketing : Social Proof To Boost Your Career by@CustomerRivet

Preparing for the workforce: Why learning to write well is worth your while by @moses_says

The Success of Mimicking by @Lbee27


Follow me at:!/dailymotiva

Hope for the Broken Hearted

beauty,ashes,hope,broken hearted


For there would be no sunrise without dark nights, … , no restoration without brokenness.  


Life is unpredictable.  The only thing constant is change, just like the four seasons.  And much like the many parodies of life, the human heart is so intended for contrast that, without one, we would not comprehend (appreciate) the other.  For there would be no rainbow without the storm, no child birth without pain.   If we follow this reasoning, it is possible to grow seeds of joy in the soil of sorrow!

As the famous author C.S. Lewis so aptly put it – a heart that is so sheltered from the possibility of wreckage “will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

What’s wrong with an ‘irredeemable’ heart?  To answer that question, rather let’s ponder on “What good is an irredeemable heart?”  Can it spread forth unconditional love; is it capable of genuine magnanimity, let alone, even appreciate true love?   See the picture?  An irredeemable heart is a heart of stone, impervious, insensitive, and incapable of growth.

Hence, perhaps we need to suffer the agony of a broken heart before our heart can be restructured and restored into a more beautiful heart.  Given that, I’ll gladly have my shabby heart wrecked and shattered.  So it can be restructured into something more splendid than before!

Though the process is painful and uncertain, knowing the end result is reason enough to help me focus on staying hopeful.  So besides having an attitude of joy, I’m journeying on with an attitude of gratitude, in anticipation of the beauty to come.

If this is what you’re going through right now, I welcome you on this trail.  Though our paths may be different, I believe we’re getting onto something more magnificent in time to come.  Never lose faith and Joy!


Isaiah 61:3 – he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning,



Hope for the Abandoned




“The spirit of abandonment makes us vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without us realizing it…”


I woke up to one of the most beautiful and bewildering dreams I’ve ever had this morning – Almost like Alice in Wonderland.

At the beginning of the dream, I was in a kind of a road/ hiking trip with a few people.   We were travelling together, initially in the city.  As we travelled, I was feeling anxious all the time.  It seems that my travelling companions keep wandering off from me, attracted by other sights or simply just taking turns to disappear.  I would be the one hunting them down and bringing them back on track.

Somehow as we travelled, the background changed to a countryside and eventually I had lost all my travelling companions, it seems even the last friend ‘disappeared’ from me.  For a moment, I was feeling lost and abandoned – all alone in a wide countryside with noone in sight.

I was surrounded by a huge landscape of a flat plain, so huge I could not see beyond the green grass.  As I took a few more steps, still worried over how to get out of the place and lamenting why my companions left me, the background was suddenly filled with thousands and thousands of flowers.  The flowers covered the grass like a carpet, they were all in full bloom with all sorts of colours (yes I dream in colours), so bright and beautiful.  Seeing this amazing sight, I was so mesmerized by Mother nature that I just decided to let go and just rest in mother nature.  So I lie down on the soft carpet of wonderful flowers and closed my eyes.  It feels soft, warm and so comfortable.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself on my bed.  The words resting in Mother Nature echoed in my mind, then I realised that resting in Mother Nature actually meant resting in God!  In that moment, I felt a blessed assurance – God has been and will always be with me!

Since young, I’ve always felt rejected, abandoned, insignificant.  In my darkest hours, I often felt an intense loneliness.  The spirit of abandonment made me so vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without realizing how much this hurt me.  Just like the greenery and flowers in my dream have always been there in the background, God has always been with me!  However, I was so fearful of being abandoned by my companions that I didn’t realise it.

I know I was and will never be alone again – Thank you Lord for your blessed assurance.

“Hebrews 13:5 – for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”







Emotional Abuse


FRED et marie (English subtitles) from fredetmarie on Vimeo.


When we think about abuse in a relationship, we often think of bruised faces, scars on arms and legs.  What we commonly think of or are more familiar with is physical abuse.  There are many forms of abuse and any form of abuse is cruel.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional (or psychological) abuse is not obvious, it is subtle. Quite often even the victim does not recognize that he/ she is being abused.  Although emotional abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to the self-esteem and will of the person being abused.

Physical abuse scars a person’s body but emotional abuse scars a person’s soul.  Often, physical abuse is accompanied or follows emotional abuse.  Emotional battering is used to wear the victim down – often over a long period of time – to cause so much confusion to the person abused so as to undermine his/ her self-concept, to a point that he/ she is willing to take responsibility for the abuser’s actions and behaviour towards him/her or simply just accept it.

Just as there are many forms of physical abuse, there are many varieties of psychological abuse.  They include isolation, crazy-making, verbal abuse, belittling and other humiliating or degrading behaviours.  Though the abusive behaviours may not be easily recognisable by themselves, they are readily identified by recognising the effects they have on the person being abused.

Emotional abuse has the aim of control and dominance. If a person constantly feels as though his/ her feelings, needs, opinions are being devalued, are given no credence, chances are the person is experiencing some form of emotional abuse.

The long term result of emotional and psychological abuse leaves the victim feeling confused, unsure of his/her own judgement and ability to make decisions, sometimes even to the extent of believing that he/ she is going crazy.  Accompanied by these are often low self-esteem, as the victim’s own needs and opinions are often put down, criticised or disregarded.  Depression and even suicidal thoughts set in as the victim feels so trapped in the situation (especially in a close relationship).  Ironically, the victim is often being made blamed for the abuser’s bad behaviours and hence may experience a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Emotional abuse is controlling and wields an invisible prison that keeps the victim in bondage.  In many cases, the victim would have been so manipulated in their thoughts to even recognise that they are being threatened or controlled.  Over extended periods of time, the victim loses all sense of self-direction, self-will, self-confidence and eventually becomes dependent to the abuser and does everything to please/pacify the abuser.  This then perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse and the abuser gets to keep his dominance over the victim.

Emotional abuse is such a subtle form of control and domination which leaves no visible marks, yet has a profound effect on the emotional and mental well being of the victim.  Victims often feel trapped and so emotionally hurt but cannot point a finger as what is wrong.  Many people have found that once the emotional abuse is no longer effective, physical violence follows.  Many victims suffer in silence – the repressed emotions which left unaddressed often manifest in ill health.

If you or anyone you know is in some form of abuse, please seek help immediately.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that the problem will get better or be resolved with time.  Value yourself and your loved ones enough to stand up for your own right.

The Freedom Programme© in the UK is particularly good at showing up all the myriads of ways in which emotional abuse is used within abusive relationship.  To find out more, check out the Freedom Programme.


Joy in Sorrow – Beauty for Ashes

sun rise, hope,inspiration,joy,life,love

For there would be no sunrise without dark nights, … , no restoration without brokenness.  

– Reflections from the book ‘Overextended’ by Lisa Harper.


I’d like to warn you that this post is fairly long, I did not split this into 2 posts as that would lose the flow.  So please persevere and read on to the end …

When things are going our way in life, promotions, financial wealth, good  health, blossoming relationships, lovely new house/ car, and so on… it’s easy to be joyful, singing and dancing, looking to others and wondering why other people are acting like depressive maniacs, self- pity  partiers, low morale mongers indulging in sour grapes.

What happens when events take a turn in life, if we’re stricken with disease, incur financial losses, get betrayed by those closest to us, faced with career setbacks?  When the weather changes from a bright sunny day to a storm, can we still sing and dance in the storm? Especially when the world seems to be passing us by, friends are getting married or enjoying lovely marriages and kids, catapulting by leaps and bounds in their career or financial advances.

Under such circumstances, some people will spiral into depression, wallow in self-pity, become bitter, sour and even resentful of those who are seemingly in the celebration seasons of their lives.  After all, emotions (both positive and negative) are so attuned to our human nature.  I have to admit for once that I am a highly emotional girl.  Even the stormy weather can make me feel gloomy.  Being trained in psychology, I know far better about the colored lenses of depression and how behavior is affected by the cognition..  Nonetheless, that is easier said than done, as I’ve been down that road before (many times).  No matter how I convince myself to steer away from the negativity, I can’t help it!

Yet, there are some people who can still stay steadfast, purposeful.  Though, not all the time smiling, they choose to focus on the positive.  Though they feel down at times, they choose not to indulge in a pity party, more than a slice of chocolate cake.  What is the secret?

Life is unpredictable.  The only thing constant is change, just like the four seasons.  And much like the many parodies of life, the human heart is so intended for contrast that, without one, we would not comprehend (appreciate) the other.  For there would be no rainbow without the storm, no child birth without pain.   If we follow this reasoning, it is possible to grow seeds of joy in the soil of sorrow!

As the famous author C.S. Lewis so aptly put it – a heart that is so sheltered from the possibility of wreckage “will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

What’s wrong with an ‘irredeemable’ heart?  To answer that question, rather let’s ponder on “What good is an irredeemable heart?”  Can it spread forth unconditional love; is it capable of genuine magnanimity, let alone, even appreciate true love?   See the picture?  An irredeemable heart is a heart of stone, impervious, insensitive, and incapable of growth.

Hence, perhaps we need to suffer the agony of a broken heart before our heart can be restructured and restored into a more beautiful heart.  Given that, I’ll gladly have my shabby heart wrecked and shattered.  So it can be restructured into something more splendid than before.!

Periods of trials and tribulations in life serve to strengthen not only our minds but our hearts.  Psychologically speaking, that could be the process of ‘Self Actualization’, thanks to Maslow’s theory.  However, in layman’s term, I believe it’s a process whereby I am the clay and my potter is remolding me into a vessel for higher purpose.

Though the process is painful and uncertain, knowing the end result is reason enough to help me focus on staying hopeful.  So besides having an attitude of joy, I’m journeying on with an attitude of gratitude, in anticipation of the beauty to come.

If this is what you’re going through right now, I welcome you on this trail.  Though our paths may be different, I believe we’re getting onto something more magnificent in time to come.  Never lose faith and Joy!


(This post is inspired by an excerpt from Lisa Harper.)

Turn Forward the Clock


time,clock,turn back the clock



This morning, I woke up to the warm bright morning sun.  I took a look at my clock, which says 6, I knew my clock has stopped.  Yes, time to change the battery, I said to myself.  So I hastened to my drawer, managed to scour for a small AA battery, pluck the clock out from the wall, replaced the battery.  Then I had to wind the clock as it has stopped at 6, and it was then 9 in the morning.

As I wind the clock, I remembered what my mum used to tell me about winding clocks or watches ” You always wind an clocks or watches forward, never backwards as it will ruin the mechanism in the clock works.  I’m  not sure why but I always followed that.

As I wounded my clock forward, a revelation came to me – isn’t life the same too?

Time in life is linear and one directional – that is – always moving forward.  Nonetheless, don’t we like to ‘turn back the clock’ and relive the old times in our minds.  Now don’t get me wrong, reminiscence is good – for fond memories. But what about the bad memories?

We all go through disappointments, hurts, failures, mistakes in life.  We’ve made bad choices, ended up with lacklustre careers, bad company, broken relationships, and many other heart breaks.  While it’s good to retrospect and learn from our mistakes.  Yet, human nature in us, likes to dwell in the past, look back and wonder ‘what if’, ‘what could have been’, ‘what should have been’ and all the likes.

Needless to say, time and tide waits for no man (or woman), time lost is lost, what’s in the past cannot be changed.  So why do we still like to turn back the clock, back to the past?  We can’t turn back the clock, go back in time to change things.

And how can we live our best in the present and towards our future, when we keep looking back, in mourning and regret?

Like any other so-journeyer in this trail called life, I realised I need to move on, keep looking and moving forward.  No amount of looking back can undo yesterday.

As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter where we came from, it matters where we’re going.

The only way ahead is to look forward and live, because the Best is yet to Be, you have not lived your best time yet!





The more I know God

sunshine,God's love,daily,faith

The more I know God, the more I realise

Life is not about the past.

What’s past cannot be undone.

No amount of regret can turn back time.

Life is not about the future.

For who are we to ponder,

as if we know any better.

Life is about the present.

For everyday from God is a gift.

Day by day, step by step,

eyes on God,

never from His wondrous love drift.

Substance Abuse in the Armed Forces

The information below is courtesy of Rehab Hotline:


Members of our armed forces, particularly those who have been deployed in warzones, deal with many issues beyond the battlefield. Many suffer from severe post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD) brought on by combat experiences. For others, merely reintegrating into society at home can be stressful and challenging. While drug use is strongly discouraged in the armed services, many veterans know that there is a general culture of acceptance of alcohol abuse. Soldiers, seamen, airmen and Marines work hard — and tend to play hard. For many vets, however, this cycle becomes an addiction and begins to affect their health and their relationships.

RehabHotline has created this infographic to inform viewers of the problems service members face with substances and also as an outreach tool to let veterans and their families know that they are not alone if they are dealing with chemical dependency problems. There is help available.





As we look back at the year, let’s not look back in anger,

neither should we look back in defeat.

Instead look back with gratitude.

Be thankful for the afflictions, for they have made your heart stronger.

Be thankful for the betrayals, for they have made your eyes brighter.

Be thankful for the struggles, for they have made your will tougher.

Be thankful for all of life’s insights for they have made your mind free-er.

For a phoenix cannot rise up from the flames without first being burned to the ground.

So let’s retrospect with thanks and prospect with hope for 2014 !


The Best Christmas Present

christmas wish

Christmas is here again, carols, jingle bells, gifts, gatherings and dinners.  Gift exchanges are the norm, with friends and family.  We all have many wants in life, a new watch, a new dress, a new designer handbag or even wealth, fame, fortune, popularity…  I know I’m guilty of these secret wishes some times.

This year, Christmas has been exceptionally quiet for me.  No loud parties, no flashy gifts, no trendy dresses, no luxurious toiletries set, no fancy jewelry, no chocolates, nothing.

But I’m not complaining – for I know I’ve received the best gift of all:  To have my mum back from surgery, safe and sound.  She had not been in good health and feared going for operation.  Although we may not be on the best of terms all the time, growing up, I was antagonistic and always the rebellious one, deep down, I was really worried for her health and the risks.   Nonetheless I’m glad she went through with it and am recovering now.  Hopefully, she’ll be cancer free in the coming years.

I hope this is not too much to ask for for now.

Maslow’s Self-Actualisation Theory

For the Psychology inclined, dig this:


The fulfillment of one’s potential, or self-actualisation is regarded to be critical to psychological well-being and optimal mental health (Rogers, 1959).  Maslow proposed that self-actualisation is achieveable only when basic needs (physiological needs, safety needs, belongingness and love needs, esteem needs) are fulfilled.  According to Maslow, self-actualisation includes being reality-focused, problem-focused, opened to experiences, receptive of self and others and autonomous (ruled by own values).  Self-actualised people may show negative attributes including stubbornness and detachment (Maslow, 1943).

In a study that investigated personality characteristics which correlate with self-actualisation.   Self-actualisation correlated negatively neuroticism but positively with extraversion, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness.  All correlations were significant.  Self-actualisation is an important concept within humanistic personality theories.  These theories believe that everyone has the capacity to develop their full potential and achieve self-actualisation (which is important to psychological health).  Hence, the focus is on helping people become more competent and achieve optimal mental health (Rogers, 1959).  In this light, further understanding of self-actualisation will be useful in counseling settings as psychologists help clients advance towards optimal mental health.


Further Reading



Chan, R., & Joseph, S.  (2000).  Dimensions of personality, domains of aspiration, and

subjective well-being.  Personality and Individual Differences, 28(2), 347-354.

Costa, P.T., & McCrae, R.R. (1980). Influence of extraversion and neuroticism on subjective

well-being: Happy and unhappy people. Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology, 38, 668–678.

Costa, P.T., & McCrae, R.R. (1992). Revised NEO Personality Inventory (NEOPI-R) and

NEO Five Factor Inventory (NEO-FFI).Odessa, FL: Psychological Assessment


Costa, P.T., McCrae, R.R., & Dye, D.A.  (1991).  Facet scales for agreeableness and

conscientiousness: A revision of the NEO Personality Inventory.  Personality and

Individual Differences, 12(9), 887-898.

Dahl, R.J., Wakefield, J.A., Kimlicka, T.M., & Wiedersteik, M.   (1983).  How the

personality dimensions of neuroticism, extraversion and psychoticism relate to self-

actualisation.  Personality and Individual Differences, 4(6), 683-685.

DeNeve, K., & Cooper, H. (1998). The happy personality: A meta-analysis of 137 personality

traits and subjective wellbeing.  Psychological Bulletin, 124, 197–229.

Draguns, J.G., Krylova, A.V., Oryol, V.E., Rukavishnikov, A.A., & Martin, T.A.  (2000). 

Personality characteristics of the Nentsy in the Russian arctic: A comparison with

ethnic Russians by means of NEO-PI-R and POI.  American Behavioral Scientist,

44(1), 126-140.

Hayes, N., & Joseph, S.  (2003).  Big 5 correlates of three measures of subjective well-being.

Personality and Individual Differences, 34, 723–727.

Heylighen, F.  (1992).  A cognitive-systemic reconstruction of Maslow’s theory of self-

actualisation.  Behavioral Science, 37, 39-57.

Jensen-Campbell, L.A., & Graziano, W.G. (2001). Agreeableness as a moderator of

interpersonal conflict.  Journal of Personality, 69, 323- 361.

Jones, A., & Crandall, R.  (1986). Validation of a short index of self-actualization.

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 12, 63-73.

Knapp, R.R.  (1965).  Relationship of a measure of self-actualisation to neuroticism and

extraversion. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 29, 168-172.

Lolla, D. (1974). An operationalization and validation of the Maslow need hierarchy.

Educational and Psychological Measurement, 34, 639-651.

Luyckx, K., Soenens, B., & Goossens, L.  (2006).  The personality-identity interplay in

emerging adult women: Convergent findings from complementary analyses.

European Journal of Personality, 20, 195-215.

Maslow, A.H. (1943).  A theory of human motivation.  Psychological Review, 50, 370-396.

Maslow, A.H.  (1954).  Motivation and Personality.  NY: Harper.

Maslow, A. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being (2nd ed.).  NY: Van Nostrand Reinhold.

Maslow, A. (1971). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. NY: Penguin.

McCrae, R.R., & Costa, P.T. (1983). Joint factors in self-reports and ratings: Neuroticism,

extraversion and openness to experience. Personality and Individual Differences,

4(3), 245-255.

Pettit, J., & Vaught, B.C.  (1984).  Self-actualisation and interpersonal capability in

organizations.  Journal of Business Communication, 21(3), 33-40.

Rogers, C.R. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality, and interpersonal relationships, as

developed in the client-centered framework. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A study of

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NY: McGraw-Hill.


Shostrom, E.L. (1964). An inventory for the measurement of self-actualisation. Educational

and Psychological Measurement, 24, 207-218.

Spielberger, C.D. (1972). Anxiety: Current trends in theory and research: I. NY: Academic


Stöber, J.  (2003).  Self-pity: Exploring the links to personality, control beliefs, and anger.

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Sumerlin, J.R. (1995). Adaptation to homelessness: Self-actualisation, loneliness, and

depression in street homeless men. Psychological Reports, 77, 295-314.

Sumerlin, J.R., & Bundrick, C.M.  (1996).   Brief index of self-actualisation: A measure of

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Live Your Life Without An Eraser 2

Written by Clint Cora

Life Without An Eraser

My real estate agent sends me regular newsletters and in one issue, I saw the following quote by John Gardner.

’Life is the art of drawing without an eraser’.

This quote pretty well sums up how to realistically live our lives. We all make mistakes and have some negative experiences in life. We don’t have giant erasers to erase the bad circumstances we all go through. However, if we learn from these negative experiences, we can live our lives better in the future much like how the developing artist learns to draw better each day.
In my Toyota Supra black ice accident, which I can’t erase, I quickly learned to change my driving habits. As a result, I have been accident free for the last twenty five years as a driver ever since (except for one small incident when another driver hit my car in a shopping mall parking lot).

Each day is a learning opportunity for us and having some bad experiences from time to time is just reality. We can’t erase these bad experiences whether they are accidents, failures or mistakes, but we can certainly learn from them.

Clint Cora is a motivational speaker, author and Karate World Champion. See his FREE 3-part Personal Development Video Series to learn how to expand your comfort zone to conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

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The Alchemist – finding your purpose in life

Best You Project

In the honour of World Book Day, I thought I would share a post inspired by one of my favourite books.

A while ago I watched some You Tube clips of Will Smith, one of my idols, and in one interview with Travis Smiley, Will mentioned the book called The Alchemist written by Paulo Coelho and how it changed his life. If a book has such a profound affect on a great thinker and inspirational guy like Will then I thought it was worth giving it a go.

Paulo Coelho books

I bought it and read the full thing in less than a week and wasn’t disappointed. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a long book and is so intriguing that you’ll rattle through the 197 pages in no time. What was refreshing and inspiring was that I got the story, I recognised the hidden meanings and what…

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I think there’s a certain delusional quality that all SUCCESSFUL people have to have,

YOU have to BELIEVE that something different than what has happened for the past 50 million years CAN happen.

Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity.

What’s the point of being realistic?

It’s UNREALISTIC to walk into a room,

flip a switch and have light come on,

but fortunately Edison didn’t think so.

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Promote your brand, products and services via our free company profile, blog and forum.

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Share photos/ videos, send messages, post blogs, keep in touch and make new friends.

An Endearing Story

The starfish is a symbol of divine love. It also holds characteristics such as guidance, vigilance, inspiration, brilliance and intuition. 

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf’s edge and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached, he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

The man was stuck by the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached, the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

As he came up to the person, he said: “You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can’t possibly make a difference.” The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and picks up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said: “It sure made a difference to that one!”





Ho can we apply the story of the starfish into your daily life?

Any suggestions or similar stories to share?



Overcoming Failure

No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life.
That’s because when you look at the isolated incident, it means that you haven’t found success.
However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.

overcoming failure,success

overcoming failure,success

Never Give Up On Yourself

It may help you to stop using words like “failure” when it comes to your attempts at success. As long as you’re still trying on that road to success, then you actually haven’t failed. It’s only once you’ve given up that you’ve failed.

3 key things to remember:
Remain Positive,
Stay Committed,
Learn from failure!

Life is tough though. To say “never give up” is easier said than done. Of course there will be times when you feel like giving up, everyone encounters these times. Just ask any successful person that you admire. However, it’s those people that still make the extra effort even when they feel like giving up that reach success. There’s nothing stopping you from being one of these people.

Of course you want to get to success as fast as you possibly can, but you must give yourself proper time. Everyone has their unique road and when you stop comparing yourself to others and just plough forward with your plans, you’ll get there before you know it.

What’s your take in the face of t failure? Will you quit or persevere?

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A Great Salesperson Can Sell Anything! Really??

By Bernie O’Donnell

There is absolutely no basis for the adage that “great salespeople can sell anything.” Nor is there a basis for the unqualified premise that “the best predictor of future performance is past performance.” It all depends on the degree to which your environment mirrors that in which the salesperson has been most successful.

We’ve identified 9 Territory Casting Factors™ that are essential to understand if you wish to outmaneuver your competition in the race to increase average sales per rep.

1. Target Market (buyer profile)
2. Relational vs. Transactional (ongoing vs. one-time deal)
3. New vs. Established Customer (hunter vs. builder)
4. Straightforward vs. Technical/Complex Product
5. Tangible Product vs. Intangible Service
6. Long vs. Short Sell Cycle
7. Big Ticket vs. Small Ticket (price)
8. Selling Methodology (consultative vs. product, etc.)
9. Brand Expectation (reputation and image)

Each of these needs to be described for your business. Then relevant questions and scenarios can be developed to see how well the applicant’s experience compares. If you happen to be a salesperson seeking a new position, you should do this exercise so you can identify those opportunities in which you are likely to be most successful.

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5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 4

You see, we all have internal programs we learn. Sometimes we learn them in childhood, and sometimes we learn them as adults.
Some of these programs aren’t helpful, such as constantly worrying, stopping yourself from writing, or scaring yourself so much that you can’t go after your dreams.

It’s not that these programs are bad, because they work perfectly. The problem happens when they stop you from doing something you want.
That’s when you need to change the programs within you.

The Bottom Line

In the end, you are the only one that can make the changes necessary. I’ve had many people email me, and they want to feel good without any effort.

If you want to transform who you are and live up to your full potential, you have to first face the dragon (your fears), but what you’ll realize is that your fears are only half an inch thick.
It’s terrifying, but it’s over in a heartbeat.
When you let go of your fears and negative memories, your life changes.

The question then is, are you ready for it?

Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where you can get his FREE life-changing course right now: Find Your Passion in 5 Days or Less.

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Written by Henri Junttila

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 3

4. The Work
The Work was created by Byron Katie, and it’s a system of four simple questions:
• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
• How do you react when you believe this thought?
• Who would you be without this thought?

That’s how it starts, and while my paraphrasing of the questions may not be perfect, the questions still hold power, because they open up your mind and beliefs to new possibilities.
There are so many options to feel better that I am confused about the fact that people still try to drink and eat their problems away.

5. NLP
Last, but definitely not least is NLP, which I use when I work with my own clients. NLP gives you the user’s manual for your brain.
It allows me to help my clients achieve quick changes that have big ramifications in their life.

As an example, one client came to me with writer’s block. She had trouble with anxiety when she sat down to write.0
She loved writing, but it wasn’t happening. She had some bad memories and experiences from the past around writing, and when we cleared those up, everything changed.

Stay Tuned for more

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Written by Henri Junttila

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 2

2. Acceptance
This is another part of being in the now. Most people try to run away from their negative emotions. They eat, watch TV, have sex, read, or hang online.
When you get curious about the feeling and accept it as a part of you, it tends to disappear.

But how do you accept it when it feels so painful?
That’s the first hurdle you have to overcome, because when you do, you will realize that the pain was only half an inch thick.
You can either learn to let go of your negative emotions, or you can keep doing what you’ve been doing up until this point.
3. EFT
EFT is weird, but it works. Nowadays I use something called FasterEFT, which is more efficient and uses a few tricks from NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
It’s faster, and it works better than classic EFT, at least for me. The mistake most people make is they dismiss EFT because of how it looks.

Another mistake is that they use it a few days and give up. Changing how you feel means going in and cleaning stuff up, and most of us have a lot of garbage stored in our brain, so it takes time.
But after a while you start feeling a deep sense of peace, joy, and wholeness. At that point you know that it’s all worth it.

Stay tuned for the more ways

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Written by Henri Junttila

5 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions 1

Do you ever experience negative emotions to the extent that you wish they would just go away forever?

We all do, and most people suffer unnecessarily because of them.
The good news is that you don’t have to do that. The bad news is that most people will do it anyway, even though the tools are right in front of their eyes.

Because of familiarity.

It’s uncomfortable to face the unknown, even though that is where all the possibilities lie. You cannot have certainty and possibility.
You must face your emotions head on.
That is the key to peace. When you are willing to do that, you have reclaimed your freedom.

1. Now
You’re probably familiar with the Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. In the book, Eckhart puts forth a simple proposition, stay in the now and you will feel peace.
Most people don’t understand it right away, but when they do, their life changes dramatically, because when you’re in the now, you are present with everything around you.
Think of a time when you were anxious or afraid of a future event, and notice what happened when that event happened and you experienced it.
It wasn’t as bad as you thought it was, was it?
That’s because when you experienced it, you were in the now, and when that happened, the unknown became known.
Stay tuned for the other 4 ways…

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Say Yes !



Have you seen the movie ‘Yes Man’ by Jim Carrie before?

In the movie Jim Carrie plays the role of a Bank loan officer Carl Allen has become withdrawn since his divorce from ex-wife Stephanie.  He was living a pessimistic life and never said ‘Yes’ to anything or anyone.  Until he went for a motivational seminar and and meets inspirational guru Terrence Bundley, who publicly browbeats him into making a covenant with himself. Carl reluctantly promises to stop being a “No Man” and vows to answer “Yes!” to every opportunity, request or invitation that presents itself thereafter.

Carl began saying ‘Yes’ to everything and everyone and his life seemed to take a turn for the better, until things started getting bad and he got into an accident while trying to get Terrence to ‘stop’ the covenant with him.  After Carl recovers consciousness, Terrence tells Carl that there was no covenant. The starting point was merely to open Carl’s mind to other possibilities, not to permanently take away his ability to say no if he needed to.

Does the idea of taking a chance, any chance terrify you ?

Once in a while, do you …

take a different turn, at a different corner,

explore a new flavor,

wear a different color.

You never know who you’ll meet, what you’ll do, where you’ll go.

As Forest Gump said ‘ Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll get ‘

But isn’t that the essence of Life?  We never really know everything for sure.

In life, perhaps we sometimes need to allow ourselves the luxury of saying ‘Yes’, to possibilities.

Don’t think you are not good enough, without even starting.

Don’t give up, without even trying.

Open your mind and heart and you’ll be amazed what  You can achieve !

Say Yes !


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Live Your Life Without An Eraser 1

Written by Clint Cora

I think my business colleague was a bit nervous when he first got into my Eagle Talon sports car. I was driving us to a few appointments that day. About halfway into our day on the road together, he said that he was pleasantly surprised about my driving. For some reason, he thought that since I drove a black sports car, I would be driving like a wild man. But much to his surprise, he noticed that I never sped or drove very aggressively. This is when I told him about my story about an incident many years ago that changed my driving habits forever.

Negative Experiences That Change You For The Better

I was a young man in my mid twenties just starting my career. I decided to reward myself with a new car. It was a black Toyota Supra, the first car I ever bought on my own. After seeing the black Ferrari on Miami Vice, I wanted a black sports car as well. I seem to have a thing for black sports cars as I’m currently on my fourth one now and the next one will likely be a black Mustang.
I was driving in the fast lane westbound on the QEW, which is the highway that runs around Lake Ontario from Toronto to Niagara Falls. It was a Canadian winter day but the weather was clear and so were the roads, or so I thought.
Like many other vehicles on the highway, I was doing about 120 kilometers per hour in a 100 kilometers speed limit. Everything was smooth sailing on the highway until my car started to somehow lose grip on the road. I spun around 180 degrees and actually saw the other cars coming toward me as I went across all three lanes. Fortunately, my Supra ended up off the highway on the far side shoulder.
It‚Äôs a miracle that I didn’t get hit by any of the other vehicles as I went across the lanes but the side of my car did hit a post which resulted in my side window smashing apart. I was not hurt though so I came out extremely lucky.
What must have happened was that I hit some ‚’black ice’ on the highway. This is a term we use here in Canada that describes ice on the roads that drivers can’t see. In my case, I was driving too fast in black ice conditions I was not aware of.
This single negative experience on the road changed my driving habits forever. Although it didn’t change my personal taste for black sports cars, I no longer speed especially on the highways during winter months. Quite often in questionable winter days, I’m actually well under the speed limit and don’t mind almost every other vehicle on the road passing me, even if they are driven by little old ladies. I would rather make it to my destinations in one piece.
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A Great Salesperson Can Sell Anything! Really??

By Bernie O’Donnell

Despite the likelihood that salespeople are the most studied species among mankind, we continue to hire, incent and coach them based upon an erroneous set of beliefs. The result is missed opportunities, low margins, missed quotas, unacceptable service and — the mortal sin — lost customers.

There is absolutely no basis for the adage that “great salespeople can sell anything.” Nor is there a basis for the unqualified premise that “the best predictor of future performance is past performance.” It all depends on the degree to which your environment mirrors that in which the salesperson has been most successful.

As with any job, the personal drivers of sales success are found within expertise, traits and character – the Competency Trio™. In most jobs, Expertise (skills, knowledge and experience) is the easiest to assess, but not so in sales. Personality, which is formed from elements of traits and character, gets much attention as sales managers seek that non-existent magic salesperson that can “sell anything to anyone.”

Unfortunately, this focus on personality and attitude is often at the expense of two factors that are at least as predictive of future success.

The first is mental acuity. How much business do you think gets left on the table because the salesperson doesn’t think as fast as the buyer or decision maker? The second critical consideration is how well your environment maps to the experience of the sales rep.

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