Are you lonely?
Do you feel left out, rejected, alone?
Loneliness feels so cold yet stings like a hot scorching flame.
I know too well the pain of loneliness. The feeling that gnaws you and injects such immense pain into your soul that you wish you could just be free from it right away. It was so bad that I often cried to God to remove the pain, the deep-seated loneliness in my heart.
But The Lord didn’t take my pain away, no matter how much I pleaded.
He is using it to refine my life, just as fire purifies gold (Malachi 3:3).
Loneliness became a reminder of the cross, the sacrifice of my own desires for those of the Lord. That I should lose my life, lose myself for Him – to die to myself – which is utterly tormenting. So I start embracing the cross and the death of myself. I keep telling God to – have His way in me – that He is the centre of my life.
Every time I proclaim that, I felt a whole new strength, to carry on.
I finally realized that life wasn’t about my desires, but it was about showing the love of Christ to others.
The pain I am going through allowed me to identify with others’ pain. I can fully and totally feel first hand how it is to live through the pain of loneliness, rejection, abandonment, disappointments and broken relationships.
To anyone going through any of these, I understand it is not easy. In fact, that is such an understatement. But I truly understand how it feels now.
There is a saying that goes “Someone needs to go through hell to get the keys to unlock the prison to set others free”. Perhaps, we will get there one day. For now, everyday, I pray for strength to keep the faith and that this loneliness will cause me to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Till the day, if it may come, that God decides that I’ve passed this test.