Divine Appointment

rainbow

 

It was a normal summer Saturday morning.  Ok, perhaps not so normal perhaps, as I had to drag myself out of bed and travel halfway across the other side of town to meet a prospective client.

It was one of those days in which I wished I should have gotten ready faster and left the house earlier.  Which is why I agreed immediately when my dear sister (although we’ve much sibling rivalry at times) happily volunteered to give me a lift as she was heading out.  She dropped me halfway to my client’s place so I could take a bus to my destination.   To cut the story short, I was well on my way, arrived at the bus stop and after a few minutes the bus came.

Upon boarding the bus, I immediately noticed an empty seat beside an old lady at the front.  I smiled to her, she smiled back and I plonked myself down right beside her.  She’s dressed very prettily in a dress, silver white hair elegant combed back.  The wrinkles on her face and arm tells me that she’s probably around the ripe old age of 90 (I think).

Before I realised how rude I was to be staring at her, she started talking to me.  She introduced herself as Florence (First thing I thought of was Florence Nightingale and wondered if she was ever a nurse). And of course I told her my name.  Then we carried on with our mini conversation as below :

Old Lady :  Oh isn’t it a lovely sunny day?

Me: Well, yes it’s indeed a sunny day (hmm..  so much so for weather talk, it sure is sunny but I’m not sure about the lovely part)

Old Lady: Are you in a hurry Macy?

Me:  Yes, in fact, I’m rushing for an appointment.

Old Lady:  I am going to the Church just round the next corner, I thought you might be interested to come with me.  But, well, since you’re in a hurry today, I want you to have this ( speaking which  she reached into her handbag and wanted to pass me a Christian flyer).

Me: (I said smiling),  I’m a believer too.

Old Lady: Oh, really ! Praise the Lord (she’s smiling so widely with a sparkle in her eyes).  You know God is Good. In life there’ll be ups and

downs, sometimes you may find yourself in a muddy pit.  Don’t be discouraged, God will pull you out of the pit.

 

At this point, my spirit immediately felt comforted, yet I was close to tears.

Flashback to the night before, I really don’t feel like coming to this part of town but had no choice as the appointment had been fixed (and afterall, the client always wins).  This was a place with many memories of a past relationship. I remembered even praying to God before bed the night before to grant me strength and peace in my heart.

 

The next thing I knew, the old Lady spoke again

Old Lady: Macy, can we pray for a while?

I nodded my head.

Old Lady: Dear Father, thank you for Macy and I pray that you’ll keep her and bless her. Amen.

 

After the prayer, she said goodbye (still with that sparkle in her eyes) and got down the bus.

And although this old granny is a complete stranger, it was one of the most wonderfully short and sweet prayer I’ve ever had someone said with me.  The morning started out a little grey for me but meeting the old lady just lifted my spirits up.  Though we only spoke for a while, and I don’t even know her, I felt so divine!  Amazingly, I felt God’s presence with me. It’s such a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can’t explain.

Moreover, the old lady is so full of joy and life at her age!!  That spirit and sparkle in her eyes is something that makes me really say ‘Wow’ , almost like being star struck (or even better).  She’s just so inspiring.

I believe she must have been sent by God.  How wonderous ! How marvelous !

Very often, we ask God to speak to us, give us visions, reveal to us in dreams.  But somehow, I think today God chose to speak to me through a lovely old granny.

 

I will always treasure this wonderful memory in my heart.  Perhaps, one day when I’m that old, God will still use me to encourage some younger woman out there feeling down and out and lonely, to remind her that she’s never alone, that her beloved Father in heaven is watching over her with Love.

 

Romans 8:39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Emotional Abuse

 

FRED et marie (English subtitles) from fredetmarie on Vimeo.

 

When we think about abuse in a relationship, we often think of bruised faces, scars on arms and legs.  What we commonly think of or are more familiar with is physical abuse.  There are many forms of abuse and any form of abuse is cruel.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional (or psychological) abuse is not obvious, it is subtle. Quite often even the victim does not recognize that he/ she is being abused.  Although emotional abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to the self-esteem and will of the person being abused.

Physical abuse scars a person’s body but emotional abuse scars a person’s soul.  Often, physical abuse is accompanied or follows emotional abuse.  Emotional battering is used to wear the victim down – often over a long period of time – to cause so much confusion to the person abused so as to undermine his/ her self-concept, to a point that he/ she is willing to take responsibility for the abuser’s actions and behaviour towards him/her or simply just accept it.

Just as there are many forms of physical abuse, there are many varieties of psychological abuse.  They include isolation, crazy-making, verbal abuse, belittling and other humiliating or degrading behaviours.  Though the abusive behaviours may not be easily recognisable by themselves, they are readily identified by recognising the effects they have on the person being abused.

Emotional abuse has the aim of control and dominance. If a person constantly feels as though his/ her feelings, needs, opinions are being devalued, are given no credence, chances are the person is experiencing some form of emotional abuse.

The long term result of emotional and psychological abuse leaves the victim feeling confused, unsure of his/her own judgement and ability to make decisions, sometimes even to the extent of believing that he/ she is going crazy.  Accompanied by these are often low self-esteem, as the victim’s own needs and opinions are often put down, criticised or disregarded.  Depression and even suicidal thoughts set in as the victim feels so trapped in the situation (especially in a close relationship).  Ironically, the victim is often being made blamed for the abuser’s bad behaviours and hence may experience a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Emotional abuse is controlling and wields an invisible prison that keeps the victim in bondage.  In many cases, the victim would have been so manipulated in their thoughts to even recognise that they are being threatened or controlled.  Over extended periods of time, the victim loses all sense of self-direction, self-will, self-confidence and eventually becomes dependent to the abuser and does everything to please/pacify the abuser.  This then perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse and the abuser gets to keep his dominance over the victim.

Emotional abuse is such a subtle form of control and domination which leaves no visible marks, yet has a profound effect on the emotional and mental well being of the victim.  Victims often feel trapped and so emotionally hurt but cannot point a finger as what is wrong.  Many people have found that once the emotional abuse is no longer effective, physical violence follows.  Many victims suffer in silence – the repressed emotions which left unaddressed often manifest in ill health.

If you or anyone you know is in some form of abuse, please seek help immediately.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that the problem will get better or be resolved with time.  Value yourself and your loved ones enough to stand up for your own right.

The Freedom Programme© in the UK is particularly good at showing up all the myriads of ways in which emotional abuse is used within abusive relationship.  To find out more, check out the Freedom Programme.

 

Overcoming Failure

No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life.
That’s because when you look at the isolated incident, it means that you haven’t found success.
However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.

overcoming failure,success

overcoming failure,success

Never Give Up On Yourself

It may help you to stop using words like “failure” when it comes to your attempts at success. As long as you’re still trying on that road to success, then you actually haven’t failed. It’s only once you’ve given up that you’ve failed.

3 key things to remember:
Remain Positive,
Stay Committed,
Learn from failure!

Life is tough though. To say “never give up” is easier said than done. Of course there will be times when you feel like giving up, everyone encounters these times. Just ask any successful person that you admire. However, it’s those people that still make the extra effort even when they feel like giving up that reach success. There’s nothing stopping you from being one of these people.

Of course you want to get to success as fast as you possibly can, but you must give yourself proper time. Everyone has their unique road and when you stop comparing yourself to others and just plough forward with your plans, you’ll get there before you know it.

What’s your take in the face of t failure? Will you quit or persevere?

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Become Unbreakable: More Personal Resilience 1

How much better would your life be if you were unbreakable? If you knew that no matter what happened that you would survive and persevere — and that maybe you’d even come out a little better?

We cannot escape pain, difficulty, failure, tragedy, and heartache.
Sooner or later it will find us despite our best efforts to protect ourselves. Instead of trying to bob and weave what life throws at us, I’d rather have the comfort of knowing that I can take life’s best shot and be able to get back up and move forward. To me, that’s empowerment. Having that kind of personal fortitude and resilience is a game changer. Instead of being dogged by fear and uncertainty, you will have inner peace and confidence that you will survive.

resilience,unbreakable,reubber bands,strength,personal

resilience,unbreakable,reubber bands,strength,personal

The American Psychological Association (APA) focused their research on resilience after the tragic events of 9/11. Resilience, according to the APA, is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and from sources of stress such as work pressures, health, family or relationship problems. They found that a resilient person is not only able to handle the crisis of the moment more effectively, but that they are also able to recover and get back on their feet more quickly.
According to the APA, you can create more personal resilience with these ten tips:

1. Make connections. Personal resilience doesn’t mean it’s all up to you. Having good relationships with close family members, friends, or others is critical to resilience and well-being. When tragedy strikes, the worst thing you can do is avoid friends and loved ones. Start cultivating your relationships today, so when you need support, you have a whole network of people to help.

2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. Don’t fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking, which says that everything is either perfect or terrible. There are always shades of gray. Focus less on the past and more on the future you want. Also, look for exceptions. In Solution Focused Therapy, exceptions are those times when the problem is gone or at least not as bad. Are there times in the current crisis you’re your problems don’t feel so insurmountable?

3. Accept that change is a part of living. Know that whatever you’re going through others have experienced before. You are not alone — change, in whatever form, is a natural part of life.
Being unbreakable doesn’t mean that you can’t cry or need to act tough or mask your feelings by putting on a happy face. Being unbreakable means you give yourself the freedom to break, knowing you have the tools to put yourself back together again.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life?

For more tips …

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Overcoming Failure

    No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life. However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.

    Overcoming Failure

    The first step to overcoming failure is to accept your situation. Failure is a natural part of life. When you attempt to be too perfect, it’ll cause you stress and you won’t be able to get yourself past to the part of acceptance. You don’t want to be carrying that burden around with you forever.

    Your Positive Outlook

    The next step is to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Don’t be tempted to wallow in it. Look at your failure as just a stepping stone on your way to success. There’s always a silver lining hidden in any negative situation – Look for yours!

    How Failure Can Speed Up Success

    When you’re in the process of overcoming failure you’re given the unique opportunity to analyze what went wrong. Take time to study the exact steps that you took, what outcome you received and the reasons why the failure occurred. After this analysis you can draft up a new plan in order to get to success. Only this time you’ll be smarter and better equipped.

    Never Give Up On Yourself

    As long as you’re still trying on that road to success, then you actually haven’t failed. It’s only once you’ve given up that you’ve failed.

    Life is tough though. Of course there will be times when you feel like giving up. It’s those people that still make the extra effort even when they feel like giving up that reach success. There’s nothing stopping you from being one of these people. Give yourself proper time, stop comparing yourself to others and just plough forward with your plans, you’ll get there before you know it.