Capture

 

This morning, I was passing through MacDonald’s (not my normal route), to get to my bus stop. I can’t help but notice an old lady sitting at a corner, drinking from her mug. Catching a quick glimpse of her, I was about to hurry through the exit, when something made me stop and turn around. I walked back to the old lady in the corner. She was scruffy, with an umbrella, a walking stick and 2 large bags of what looked like garbage (or perhaps scrap paper and cardboard for recycling?). I just felt prompted to do something for her. So I asked if she needed anything. Initially she declined, I asked again ‘Can I get you a burger?’ She replied ‘fish burger’.

As I trodded back into the front of the counter and started queuing, I had no idea why I was doing this, it was a work day morning and I was hurrying to work. So there I was standing in line and I thought, ok, I’ll just buy a burger, pass it to her and get on my journey. However, I heard a voice telling me ‘get yourself a breakfast, sit and eat with her’ I replied ‘God, I already have breakfast in my bag, I’m in a hurry’ Yet, I felt I had to go sit with the old lady, so I bought breakfast.

Returning to the old lady, I sat down, passed her the burger and a hot tea. She started speaking ‘You know girl, I can take hardships.’ I was lost for words. She continued to pour out to me, how she was working a cleaner and used to have 4 to 5 jobs a week but now she’s only left with 1 job due to weakness in her leg. To add on to her troubles, an unknown man had been taking money from her and she felt compelled to give to him, a few dollars at a time. She told me she didn’t understand why but she could not resist giving him a few dollars, not that he threatened or solicited from her, just that he would always say something nice to her.

As she talked, I asked God to help me, give me the words to say to her. When she paused, I looked her in the eye and asked ‘Do you feel lonely?’ She looked surprised and said, ‘How do you know?’ She teared as she said ‘Every night, I feel I’m getting mad from feeling so alone.’ This had me fighting hard to control my tears, I am familiar with the sting of loneliness too. At this point, I asked her did she believe in Jesus, she said yes. I told her that Jesus loves her and asked if she wanted to receive Jesus Christ into her heart, to which she was hesitant. Then, I asked if I can pray for her leg, she replied ‘Yes, and not only for my leg, can you pray that God will take my loneliness away?’ I said ‘Sure’. Holding her pair of hands which were slightly deformed by arthritis ( I wondered when was the last time someone touched this pair of hands), I prayed for her physical healing, and that she can come to experience God’s love, joy and peace. As I prayed, I felt God sees her as His precious daughter and I spoke that out to her. She revealed that she had been hoping to meet someone who can help her with the loneliness problem. Showing deep appreciation, she said she felt a load had been lifted up from her. I assured her God is always with her and He cares for her, she just has to call out to Him.

 

Before I left, I tried to ask her for a contact number but she said she had no phone and was reluctant to reveal much about where she stays. When I left her, I only knew she stays around the neighbourhood, I’m not sure if I’ll meet her again, but I trust God will heal her physical body and her heart.

While I continued on my way to work, I marveled at this ‘divine appointment’. It wasn’t in my plan to be there at that time, at that place this morning, but I happened to be. I’m thankful that I can be a messenger of God’s love. If a fish burger and 40 minutes of my time can make a difference in someone’s live, I’d gladly do this any day.  This is what makes life worthwhile, not wealth, not getting hitched, not having kids, not career achievement or wining the lottery. The satisfaction of doing something that counts for eternity surpasses any sense of achievement this world can give.

Turn Forward the Clock

 

time,clock,turn back the clock

 

 

This morning, I woke up to the warm bright morning sun.  I took a look at my clock, which says 6, I knew my clock has stopped.  Yes, time to change the battery, I said to myself.  So I hastened to my drawer, managed to scour for a small AA battery, pluck the clock out from the wall, replaced the battery.  Then I had to wind the clock as it has stopped at 6, and it was then 9 in the morning.

As I wind the clock, I remembered what my mum used to tell me about winding clocks or watches ” You always wind an clocks or watches forward, never backwards as it will ruin the mechanism in the clock works.  I’m  not sure why but I always followed that.

As I wounded my clock forward, a revelation came to me – isn’t life the same too?

Time in life is linear and one directional – that is – always moving forward.  Nonetheless, don’t we like to ‘turn back the clock’ and relive the old times in our minds.  Now don’t get me wrong, reminiscence is good – for fond memories. But what about the bad memories?

We all go through disappointments, hurts, failures, mistakes in life.  We’ve made bad choices, ended up with lacklustre careers, bad company, broken relationships, and many other heart breaks.  While it’s good to retrospect and learn from our mistakes.  Yet, human nature in us, likes to dwell in the past, look back and wonder ‘what if’, ‘what could have been’, ‘what should have been’ and all the likes.

Needless to say, time and tide waits for no man (or woman), time lost is lost, what’s in the past cannot be changed.  So why do we still like to turn back the clock, back to the past?  We can’t turn back the clock, go back in time to change things.

And how can we live our best in the present and towards our future, when we keep looking back, in mourning and regret?

Like any other so-journeyer in this trail called life, I realised I need to move on, keep looking and moving forward.  No amount of looking back can undo yesterday.

As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter where we came from, it matters where we’re going.

The only way ahead is to look forward and live, because the Best is yet to Be, you have not lived your best time yet!

 

 

 

 

The more I know God

sunshine,God's love,daily,faith

The more I know God, the more I realise

Life is not about the past.

What’s past cannot be undone.

No amount of regret can turn back time.

Life is not about the future.

For who are we to ponder,

as if we know any better.

Life is about the present.

For everyday from God is a gift.

Day by day, step by step,

eyes on God,

never from His wondrous love drift.

Maslow’s Self-Actualisation Theory

For the Psychology inclined, dig this:

 

The fulfillment of one’s potential, or self-actualisation is regarded to be critical to psychological well-being and optimal mental health (Rogers, 1959).  Maslow proposed that self-actualisation is achieveable only when basic needs (physiological needs, safety needs, belongingness and love needs, esteem needs) are fulfilled.  According to Maslow, self-actualisation includes being reality-focused, problem-focused, opened to experiences, receptive of self and others and autonomous (ruled by own values).  Self-actualised people may show negative attributes including stubbornness and detachment (Maslow, 1943).

In a study that investigated personality characteristics which correlate with self-actualisation.   Self-actualisation correlated negatively neuroticism but positively with extraversion, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness.  All correlations were significant.  Self-actualisation is an important concept within humanistic personality theories.  These theories believe that everyone has the capacity to develop their full potential and achieve self-actualisation (which is important to psychological health).  Hence, the focus is on helping people become more competent and achieve optimal mental health (Rogers, 1959).  In this light, further understanding of self-actualisation will be useful in counseling settings as psychologists help clients advance towards optimal mental health.

 

Further Reading

 

References

Chan, R., & Joseph, S.  (2000).  Dimensions of personality, domains of aspiration, and

subjective well-being.  Personality and Individual Differences, 28(2), 347-354.

Costa, P.T., & McCrae, R.R. (1980). Influence of extraversion and neuroticism on subjective

well-being: Happy and unhappy people. Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology, 38, 668–678.

Costa, P.T., & McCrae, R.R. (1992). Revised NEO Personality Inventory (NEOPI-R) and

NEO Five Factor Inventory (NEO-FFI).Odessa, FL: Psychological Assessment

Resources.

Costa, P.T., McCrae, R.R., & Dye, D.A.  (1991).  Facet scales for agreeableness and

conscientiousness: A revision of the NEO Personality Inventory.  Personality and

Individual Differences, 12(9), 887-898.

Dahl, R.J., Wakefield, J.A., Kimlicka, T.M., & Wiedersteik, M.   (1983).  How the

personality dimensions of neuroticism, extraversion and psychoticism relate to self-

actualisation.  Personality and Individual Differences, 4(6), 683-685.

DeNeve, K., & Cooper, H. (1998). The happy personality: A meta-analysis of 137 personality

traits and subjective wellbeing.  Psychological Bulletin, 124, 197–229.

Draguns, J.G., Krylova, A.V., Oryol, V.E., Rukavishnikov, A.A., & Martin, T.A.  (2000). 

Personality characteristics of the Nentsy in the Russian arctic: A comparison with

ethnic Russians by means of NEO-PI-R and POI.  American Behavioral Scientist,

44(1), 126-140.

Hayes, N., & Joseph, S.  (2003).  Big 5 correlates of three measures of subjective well-being.

Personality and Individual Differences, 34, 723–727.

Heylighen, F.  (1992).  A cognitive-systemic reconstruction of Maslow’s theory of self-

actualisation.  Behavioral Science, 37, 39-57.

Jensen-Campbell, L.A., & Graziano, W.G. (2001). Agreeableness as a moderator of

interpersonal conflict.  Journal of Personality, 69, 323- 361.

Jones, A., & Crandall, R.  (1986). Validation of a short index of self-actualization.

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 12, 63-73.

Knapp, R.R.  (1965).  Relationship of a measure of self-actualisation to neuroticism and

extraversion. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 29, 168-172.

Lolla, D. (1974). An operationalization and validation of the Maslow need hierarchy.

Educational and Psychological Measurement, 34, 639-651.

Luyckx, K., Soenens, B., & Goossens, L.  (2006).  The personality-identity interplay in

emerging adult women: Convergent findings from complementary analyses.

European Journal of Personality, 20, 195-215.

Maslow, A.H. (1943).  A theory of human motivation.  Psychological Review, 50, 370-396.

Maslow, A.H.  (1954).  Motivation and Personality.  NY: Harper.

Maslow, A. (1968). Toward a Psychology of Being (2nd ed.).  NY: Van Nostrand Reinhold.

Maslow, A. (1971). The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. NY: Penguin.

McCrae, R.R., & Costa, P.T. (1983). Joint factors in self-reports and ratings: Neuroticism,

extraversion and openness to experience. Personality and Individual Differences,

4(3), 245-255.

Pettit, J., & Vaught, B.C.  (1984).  Self-actualisation and interpersonal capability in

organizations.  Journal of Business Communication, 21(3), 33-40.

Rogers, C.R. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality, and interpersonal relationships, as

developed in the client-centered framework. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A study of

a Science. Vol. 3: Formulations of the person and the social context (pp. 185-256).

NY: McGraw-Hill.

 

Shostrom, E.L. (1964). An inventory for the measurement of self-actualisation. Educational

and Psychological Measurement, 24, 207-218.

Spielberger, C.D. (1972). Anxiety: Current trends in theory and research: I. NY: Academic

Press.

Stöber, J.  (2003).  Self-pity: Exploring the links to personality, control beliefs, and anger.

Journal of Personality, 71(2), 183-220.

Sumerlin, J.R. (1995). Adaptation to homelessness: Self-actualisation, loneliness, and

depression in street homeless men. Psychological Reports, 77, 295-314.

Sumerlin, J.R., & Bundrick, C.M.  (1996).   Brief index of self-actualisation: A measure of

Maslow’s model.  Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 11(2), 253-271.

Sumerlin, J. R., & Bundrick, C. M. (1998). Revision of the brief index of self-actualisation.

Perceptual and Motor Skills, 87, 115-125.

Wilkins, W.E., Hjelle, L.A., & Thompson, M.  (1977).  Anxiety and actualisation: A

reconceptualization.  Journal of Clinical Psychology, 33(4), 1001-1005.

 

A Great Salesperson Can Sell Anything! Really?? Part 3

By Bernie O’Donnell

There is absolutely no basis for the adage that “great salespeople can sell anything.” Nor is there a basis for the unqualified premise that “the best predictor of future performance is past performance.” It all depends on the degree to which your environment mirrors that in which the salesperson has been most successful.

As a manager with IBM quite a few years back, I had people from two sales divisions on my team. One group sold copiers and office equipment in a tough, price-sensitive, low-loyalty market where decisions tended to be made relatively quickly. The other sold complex, multi-million dollar computer systems with a long sell cycle.

Both teams were highly successful, but if they swapped territories, I would have been out of business.

Forget about finding that great salesperson who can sell anything to anyone. Focus on finding a salesperson who will be great at selling your products and services to your target market using your sales process, all while projecting the image you want to create in the marketplace.

That means exploring Expertise, Traits and Character. The 9 Territory Casting Factors™ will help you assess the Expertise piece of the human puzzle.

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