Healing & Restoration

I am the Lord that heals you Exodus 15: 26

Recently I suffered a health relapse, that left me lying on my bed, gasping for breath. On one of the worst days, I found myself rolling on my apartment kitchen floor in pain, after about 2 hours of agony, I threw up my lunch (verbatim). I know it’s kind of gross but that’s a fact, ignore your stomach and it’ll get back at you – Big time!  By this time, I knew I had no choice but to take a break from Corporate life as the marketing calendar and events were simply piled up one against another back to back and we were working with minimal manpower. Risking my health for work is not an option I’d like to entertain.

On hindsight, I should have seen it coming: Working late everyday, working weekend events; I was practically only eating one meal a day. Skipping breakfast was norm because I would be just so exhausted from work that getting out of bed every morning was a challenge. Skipping dinner was norm as I had to work late with tonnes of work and tight deadlines – often I could hardly breathe. And even if I ate chances are they’re junk food, from convenience stores, canned food and microwave-food, (which is completely not nourishing my body, I know). I ignored the initial fatigue warning symptoms, ignored the hunger pangs and thought naively that they will go away but they didn’t. In  fact, before long, they came back in full force which led me to a complete physical breakdown.

So here I am, resting at home, taking lots of bed rest and and for once I found the time to go into God’s word (which is a luxury in the hectic daily life of a corporate worker). I realised how much I had ‘starved’ myself, not only physically but also spiritually.

And it really hit me hard (once again) that Heal is Wealth, quite literally – We need health to work for an income. At the same time, it dawned on me that Healing is important to God because without health one cannot be effective in any work.

And as I spend time in the word of God again, I am reminded of how Good God is.   Many a times we gloss thru the gospels of the accounts of Jesus as if they’re bible stories. The fact is that Jesus never rejected anyone who came to Him for healing when He was on earth. Thus if we believe Jesus is the SAME yesterday, today and forever; He is still in the business of Healing!  Though my mind acknowledge, my heart sometimes still harbor a sliver of doubt. Yet, without a doubt it is God’s heart to heal. It is not because of my merits, it is because He is good God. It is due to His Goodness not my goodness. And I’m sure, with every healing, there’s much more restoration coming from my Abba Father.

More than that, Jesus is in the business of holistic healing before anyone else. The whole current craze about looking at health holistically and all the psychological studies on how one’s emotions affect one’s physical health. Now I realized, actually Jesus practised it all.  He not only healed people of their physical ailments, He also healed their emotions. He encouraged and showed them love and acceptance.

So as I take time to recuperate, catch up on God’s word and journaling my journey (no pun intended), I hope to share my little revelations and benefit whoever lands up on this webpage in the world wide web. Meanwhile, I’m also taking time to learn about eating nutritiously and looking for good juicing resources for gastritis, if you know of any, d0 let me know.

Do you have a health and healing story to share too? Don’t be shy to drop a line below.

 

 

I am the Lord that heals you

Exodus 15: 26

 

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The Beauty of Trials

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Are you in that time and space where …

the nights just seem so long,

the winter just seems to drag on,

the rough patch just got rougher,

Are you in a difficult lot in life right now?  Wandering and wondering …

Why is this happening to me?

This isn’t fair!

How can I carry on?

What will my future be?

 

Much as we hate it, life has its ups and downs: disappointments and betrayals, broken relationships, creditors on the door, lost a job, lost a home, lost a loved-one. For some people, it may have seemed like it’s an all-time low or that the roller-coaster is never coming back up.  Trying times like these leave us hurt, frustrated, anxiety-filled and even depressed.

In the darkest of my nights, tears just rolled down; the grieve was so deep, no words can describe.  During these deepest moments of despair, I cried out, desperately to Jesus and guess what – He met me there!

There and then, He called my name and told me ‘to let go of the past’ and that ‘He is there for me’ and ‘He is enough for me’.  Through it all, I’ve learnt that He loves me more than I can ever imagine and He is always there with me.

So then, why the suffering and pain? I’ve learnt much from these trying times, how to forgive some people and rejoice with others, how to be content with what I have and quit complaining, how to feel for people, how to give and receive love.

Just like there’s no victory without a battle, no rainbow without the rain, no dawn without dusk (and we know the darkest hour lies just before dawn) – There can be no growth without pain.

When life gets overwhelming, everything can seem to crash in together simultaneously, leaving you with no room to breathe. This is when you need to breathe in the air of Jesus – cry out to Him. He will come and hold you, heal and love you, and take you through this season.  He’s been there for me, I’m sure He’ll be there for you.

 

Whatever your circumstances, know that God is working behind the scene, 24 x 7.

Whatever happens know that God has not left you.

It may not be what we expect but then again, how would He be God if He always meets our expectations?

Nonetheless He will bring you to a flourishing end and it will be more beautiful than what you can imagine.

 


Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Hope for the Abandoned

 

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“The spirit of abandonment makes us vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without us realizing it…”

 

I woke up to one of the most beautiful and bewildering dreams I’ve ever had this morning – Almost like Alice in Wonderland.

At the beginning of the dream, I was in a kind of a road/ hiking trip with a few people.   We were travelling together, initially in the city.  As we travelled, I was feeling anxious all the time.  It seems that my travelling companions keep wandering off from me, attracted by other sights or simply just taking turns to disappear.  I would be the one hunting them down and bringing them back on track.

Somehow as we travelled, the background changed to a countryside and eventually I had lost all my travelling companions, it seems even the last friend ‘disappeared’ from me.  For a moment, I was feeling lost and abandoned – all alone in a wide countryside with noone in sight.

I was surrounded by a huge landscape of a flat plain, so huge I could not see beyond the green grass.  As I took a few more steps, still worried over how to get out of the place and lamenting why my companions left me, the background was suddenly filled with thousands and thousands of flowers.  The flowers covered the grass like a carpet, they were all in full bloom with all sorts of colours (yes I dream in colours), so bright and beautiful.  Seeing this amazing sight, I was so mesmerized by Mother nature that I just decided to let go and just rest in mother nature.  So I lie down on the soft carpet of wonderful flowers and closed my eyes.  It feels soft, warm and so comfortable.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself on my bed.  The words resting in Mother Nature echoed in my mind, then I realised that resting in Mother Nature actually meant resting in God!  In that moment, I felt a blessed assurance – God has been and will always be with me!

Since young, I’ve always felt rejected, abandoned, insignificant.  In my darkest hours, I often felt an intense loneliness.  The spirit of abandonment made me so vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without realizing how much this hurt me.  Just like the greenery and flowers in my dream have always been there in the background, God has always been with me!  However, I was so fearful of being abandoned by my companions that I didn’t realise it.

I know I was and will never be alone again – Thank you Lord for your blessed assurance.

“Hebrews 13:5 – for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotional Abuse

 

FRED et marie (English subtitles) from fredetmarie on Vimeo.

 

When we think about abuse in a relationship, we often think of bruised faces, scars on arms and legs.  What we commonly think of or are more familiar with is physical abuse.  There are many forms of abuse and any form of abuse is cruel.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional (or psychological) abuse is not obvious, it is subtle. Quite often even the victim does not recognize that he/ she is being abused.  Although emotional abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to the self-esteem and will of the person being abused.

Physical abuse scars a person’s body but emotional abuse scars a person’s soul.  Often, physical abuse is accompanied or follows emotional abuse.  Emotional battering is used to wear the victim down – often over a long period of time – to cause so much confusion to the person abused so as to undermine his/ her self-concept, to a point that he/ she is willing to take responsibility for the abuser’s actions and behaviour towards him/her or simply just accept it.

Just as there are many forms of physical abuse, there are many varieties of psychological abuse.  They include isolation, crazy-making, verbal abuse, belittling and other humiliating or degrading behaviours.  Though the abusive behaviours may not be easily recognisable by themselves, they are readily identified by recognising the effects they have on the person being abused.

Emotional abuse has the aim of control and dominance. If a person constantly feels as though his/ her feelings, needs, opinions are being devalued, are given no credence, chances are the person is experiencing some form of emotional abuse.

The long term result of emotional and psychological abuse leaves the victim feeling confused, unsure of his/her own judgement and ability to make decisions, sometimes even to the extent of believing that he/ she is going crazy.  Accompanied by these are often low self-esteem, as the victim’s own needs and opinions are often put down, criticised or disregarded.  Depression and even suicidal thoughts set in as the victim feels so trapped in the situation (especially in a close relationship).  Ironically, the victim is often being made blamed for the abuser’s bad behaviours and hence may experience a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Emotional abuse is controlling and wields an invisible prison that keeps the victim in bondage.  In many cases, the victim would have been so manipulated in their thoughts to even recognise that they are being threatened or controlled.  Over extended periods of time, the victim loses all sense of self-direction, self-will, self-confidence and eventually becomes dependent to the abuser and does everything to please/pacify the abuser.  This then perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse and the abuser gets to keep his dominance over the victim.

Emotional abuse is such a subtle form of control and domination which leaves no visible marks, yet has a profound effect on the emotional and mental well being of the victim.  Victims often feel trapped and so emotionally hurt but cannot point a finger as what is wrong.  Many people have found that once the emotional abuse is no longer effective, physical violence follows.  Many victims suffer in silence – the repressed emotions which left unaddressed often manifest in ill health.

If you or anyone you know is in some form of abuse, please seek help immediately.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that the problem will get better or be resolved with time.  Value yourself and your loved ones enough to stand up for your own right.

The Freedom Programme© in the UK is particularly good at showing up all the myriads of ways in which emotional abuse is used within abusive relationship.  To find out more, check out the Freedom Programme.

 

Turn Forward the Clock

 

time,clock,turn back the clock

 

 

This morning, I woke up to the warm bright morning sun.  I took a look at my clock, which says 6, I knew my clock has stopped.  Yes, time to change the battery, I said to myself.  So I hastened to my drawer, managed to scour for a small AA battery, pluck the clock out from the wall, replaced the battery.  Then I had to wind the clock as it has stopped at 6, and it was then 9 in the morning.

As I wind the clock, I remembered what my mum used to tell me about winding clocks or watches ” You always wind an clocks or watches forward, never backwards as it will ruin the mechanism in the clock works.  I’m  not sure why but I always followed that.

As I wounded my clock forward, a revelation came to me – isn’t life the same too?

Time in life is linear and one directional – that is – always moving forward.  Nonetheless, don’t we like to ‘turn back the clock’ and relive the old times in our minds.  Now don’t get me wrong, reminiscence is good – for fond memories. But what about the bad memories?

We all go through disappointments, hurts, failures, mistakes in life.  We’ve made bad choices, ended up with lacklustre careers, bad company, broken relationships, and many other heart breaks.  While it’s good to retrospect and learn from our mistakes.  Yet, human nature in us, likes to dwell in the past, look back and wonder ‘what if’, ‘what could have been’, ‘what should have been’ and all the likes.

Needless to say, time and tide waits for no man (or woman), time lost is lost, what’s in the past cannot be changed.  So why do we still like to turn back the clock, back to the past?  We can’t turn back the clock, go back in time to change things.

And how can we live our best in the present and towards our future, when we keep looking back, in mourning and regret?

Like any other so-journeyer in this trail called life, I realised I need to move on, keep looking and moving forward.  No amount of looking back can undo yesterday.

As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter where we came from, it matters where we’re going.

The only way ahead is to look forward and live, because the Best is yet to Be, you have not lived your best time yet!