“The spirit of abandonment makes us vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without us realizing it…”
I woke up to one of the most beautiful and bewildering dreams I’ve ever had this morning – Almost like Alice in Wonderland.
At the beginning of the dream, I was in a kind of a road/ hiking trip with a few people. We were travelling together, initially in the city. As we travelled, I was feeling anxious all the time. It seems that my travelling companions keep wandering off from me, attracted by other sights or simply just taking turns to disappear. I would be the one hunting them down and bringing them back on track.
Somehow as we travelled, the background changed to a countryside and eventually I had lost all my travelling companions, it seems even the last friend ‘disappeared’ from me. For a moment, I was feeling lost and abandoned – all alone in a wide countryside with noone in sight.
I was surrounded by a huge landscape of a flat plain, so huge I could not see beyond the green grass. As I took a few more steps, still worried over how to get out of the place and lamenting why my companions left me, the background was suddenly filled with thousands and thousands of flowers. The flowers covered the grass like a carpet, they were all in full bloom with all sorts of colours (yes I dream in colours), so bright and beautiful. Seeing this amazing sight, I was so mesmerized by Mother nature that I just decided to let go and just rest in mother nature. So I lie down on the soft carpet of wonderful flowers and closed my eyes. It feels soft, warm and so comfortable.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself on my bed. The words resting in Mother Nature echoed in my mind, then I realised that resting in Mother Nature actually meant resting in God! In that moment, I felt a blessed assurance – God has been and will always be with me!
Since young, I’ve always felt rejected, abandoned, insignificant. In my darkest hours, I often felt an intense loneliness. The spirit of abandonment made me so vulnerable to please others at all cost, often without realizing how much this hurt me. Just like the greenery and flowers in my dream have always been there in the background, God has always been with me! However, I was so fearful of being abandoned by my companions that I didn’t realise it.
I know I was and will never be alone again – Thank you Lord for your blessed assurance.
“Hebrews 13:5 – for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”