Divine Appointment

rainbow

 

It was a normal summer Saturday morning.  Ok, perhaps not so normal perhaps, as I had to drag myself out of bed and travel halfway across the other side of town to meet a prospective client.

It was one of those days in which I wished I should have gotten ready faster and left the house earlier.  Which is why I agreed immediately when my dear sister (although we’ve much sibling rivalry at times) happily volunteered to give me a lift as she was heading out.  She dropped me halfway to my client’s place so I could take a bus to my destination.   To cut the story short, I was well on my way, arrived at the bus stop and after a few minutes the bus came.

Upon boarding the bus, I immediately noticed an empty seat beside an old lady at the front.  I smiled to her, she smiled back and I plonked myself down right beside her.  She’s dressed very prettily in a dress, silver white hair elegant combed back.  The wrinkles on her face and arm tells me that she’s probably around the ripe old age of 90 (I think).

Before I realised how rude I was to be staring at her, she started talking to me.  She introduced herself as Florence (First thing I thought of was Florence Nightingale and wondered if she was ever a nurse). And of course I told her my name.  Then we carried on with our mini conversation as below :

Old Lady :  Oh isn’t it a lovely sunny day?

Me: Well, yes it’s indeed a sunny day (hmm..  so much so for weather talk, it sure is sunny but I’m not sure about the lovely part)

Old Lady: Are you in a hurry Macy?

Me:  Yes, in fact, I’m rushing for an appointment.

Old Lady:  I am going to the Church just round the next corner, I thought you might be interested to come with me.  But, well, since you’re in a hurry today, I want you to have this ( speaking which  she reached into her handbag and wanted to pass me a Christian flyer).

Me: (I said smiling),  I’m a believer too.

Old Lady: Oh, really ! Praise the Lord (she’s smiling so widely with a sparkle in her eyes).  You know God is Good. In life there’ll be ups and

downs, sometimes you may find yourself in a muddy pit.  Don’t be discouraged, God will pull you out of the pit.

 

At this point, my spirit immediately felt comforted, yet I was close to tears.

Flashback to the night before, I really don’t feel like coming to this part of town but had no choice as the appointment had been fixed (and afterall, the client always wins).  This was a place with many memories of a past relationship. I remembered even praying to God before bed the night before to grant me strength and peace in my heart.

 

The next thing I knew, the old Lady spoke again

Old Lady: Macy, can we pray for a while?

I nodded my head.

Old Lady: Dear Father, thank you for Macy and I pray that you’ll keep her and bless her. Amen.

 

After the prayer, she said goodbye (still with that sparkle in her eyes) and got down the bus.

And although this old granny is a complete stranger, it was one of the most wonderfully short and sweet prayer I’ve ever had someone said with me.  The morning started out a little grey for me but meeting the old lady just lifted my spirits up.  Though we only spoke for a while, and I don’t even know her, I felt so divine!  Amazingly, I felt God’s presence with me. It’s such a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can’t explain.

Moreover, the old lady is so full of joy and life at her age!!  That spirit and sparkle in her eyes is something that makes me really say ‘Wow’ , almost like being star struck (or even better).  She’s just so inspiring.

I believe she must have been sent by God.  How wonderous ! How marvelous !

Very often, we ask God to speak to us, give us visions, reveal to us in dreams.  But somehow, I think today God chose to speak to me through a lovely old granny.

 

I will always treasure this wonderful memory in my heart.  Perhaps, one day when I’m that old, God will still use me to encourage some younger woman out there feeling down and out and lonely, to remind her that she’s never alone, that her beloved Father in heaven is watching over her with Love.

 

Romans 8:39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Emotional Abuse

 

FRED et marie (English subtitles) from fredetmarie on Vimeo.

 

When we think about abuse in a relationship, we often think of bruised faces, scars on arms and legs.  What we commonly think of or are more familiar with is physical abuse.  There are many forms of abuse and any form of abuse is cruel.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional (or psychological) abuse is not obvious, it is subtle. Quite often even the victim does not recognize that he/ she is being abused.  Although emotional abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises, it is often more seriously damaging to the self-esteem and will of the person being abused.

Physical abuse scars a person’s body but emotional abuse scars a person’s soul.  Often, physical abuse is accompanied or follows emotional abuse.  Emotional battering is used to wear the victim down – often over a long period of time – to cause so much confusion to the person abused so as to undermine his/ her self-concept, to a point that he/ she is willing to take responsibility for the abuser’s actions and behaviour towards him/her or simply just accept it.

Just as there are many forms of physical abuse, there are many varieties of psychological abuse.  They include isolation, crazy-making, verbal abuse, belittling and other humiliating or degrading behaviours.  Though the abusive behaviours may not be easily recognisable by themselves, they are readily identified by recognising the effects they have on the person being abused.

Emotional abuse has the aim of control and dominance. If a person constantly feels as though his/ her feelings, needs, opinions are being devalued, are given no credence, chances are the person is experiencing some form of emotional abuse.

The long term result of emotional and psychological abuse leaves the victim feeling confused, unsure of his/her own judgement and ability to make decisions, sometimes even to the extent of believing that he/ she is going crazy.  Accompanied by these are often low self-esteem, as the victim’s own needs and opinions are often put down, criticised or disregarded.  Depression and even suicidal thoughts set in as the victim feels so trapped in the situation (especially in a close relationship).  Ironically, the victim is often being made blamed for the abuser’s bad behaviours and hence may experience a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Emotional abuse is controlling and wields an invisible prison that keeps the victim in bondage.  In many cases, the victim would have been so manipulated in their thoughts to even recognise that they are being threatened or controlled.  Over extended periods of time, the victim loses all sense of self-direction, self-will, self-confidence and eventually becomes dependent to the abuser and does everything to please/pacify the abuser.  This then perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse and the abuser gets to keep his dominance over the victim.

Emotional abuse is such a subtle form of control and domination which leaves no visible marks, yet has a profound effect on the emotional and mental well being of the victim.  Victims often feel trapped and so emotionally hurt but cannot point a finger as what is wrong.  Many people have found that once the emotional abuse is no longer effective, physical violence follows.  Many victims suffer in silence – the repressed emotions which left unaddressed often manifest in ill health.

If you or anyone you know is in some form of abuse, please seek help immediately.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that the problem will get better or be resolved with time.  Value yourself and your loved ones enough to stand up for your own right.

The Freedom Programme© in the UK is particularly good at showing up all the myriads of ways in which emotional abuse is used within abusive relationship.  To find out more, check out the Freedom Programme.

 

Turn Forward the Clock

 

time,clock,turn back the clock

 

 

This morning, I woke up to the warm bright morning sun.  I took a look at my clock, which says 6, I knew my clock has stopped.  Yes, time to change the battery, I said to myself.  So I hastened to my drawer, managed to scour for a small AA battery, pluck the clock out from the wall, replaced the battery.  Then I had to wind the clock as it has stopped at 6, and it was then 9 in the morning.

As I wind the clock, I remembered what my mum used to tell me about winding clocks or watches ” You always wind an clocks or watches forward, never backwards as it will ruin the mechanism in the clock works.  I’m  not sure why but I always followed that.

As I wounded my clock forward, a revelation came to me – isn’t life the same too?

Time in life is linear and one directional – that is – always moving forward.  Nonetheless, don’t we like to ‘turn back the clock’ and relive the old times in our minds.  Now don’t get me wrong, reminiscence is good – for fond memories. But what about the bad memories?

We all go through disappointments, hurts, failures, mistakes in life.  We’ve made bad choices, ended up with lacklustre careers, bad company, broken relationships, and many other heart breaks.  While it’s good to retrospect and learn from our mistakes.  Yet, human nature in us, likes to dwell in the past, look back and wonder ‘what if’, ‘what could have been’, ‘what should have been’ and all the likes.

Needless to say, time and tide waits for no man (or woman), time lost is lost, what’s in the past cannot be changed.  So why do we still like to turn back the clock, back to the past?  We can’t turn back the clock, go back in time to change things.

And how can we live our best in the present and towards our future, when we keep looking back, in mourning and regret?

Like any other so-journeyer in this trail called life, I realised I need to move on, keep looking and moving forward.  No amount of looking back can undo yesterday.

As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter where we came from, it matters where we’re going.

The only way ahead is to look forward and live, because the Best is yet to Be, you have not lived your best time yet!

 

 

 

 

The Best Christmas Present

christmas wish

Christmas is here again, carols, jingle bells, gifts, gatherings and dinners.  Gift exchanges are the norm, with friends and family.  We all have many wants in life, a new watch, a new dress, a new designer handbag or even wealth, fame, fortune, popularity…  I know I’m guilty of these secret wishes some times.

This year, Christmas has been exceptionally quiet for me.  No loud parties, no flashy gifts, no trendy dresses, no luxurious toiletries set, no fancy jewelry, no chocolates, nothing.

But I’m not complaining – for I know I’ve received the best gift of all:  To have my mum back from surgery, safe and sound.  She had not been in good health and feared going for operation.  Although we may not be on the best of terms all the time, growing up, I was antagonistic and always the rebellious one, deep down, I was really worried for her health and the risks.   Nonetheless I’m glad she went through with it and am recovering now.  Hopefully, she’ll be cancer free in the coming years.

I hope this is not too much to ask for for now.